I have been invited to talk about connecting with the Divine Feminine inside a friend's group.
I jumped at the opportunity, since this is really what I love doing.
Her group is about perimenopause and menopause.
So I started to think about my own menopause journey.
For those who don't know me well, I am Greek, so words with a Greek origin I always “hear” the primal meaning…
So menopause literally (in Greek) means the end of menstruation, nothing more and nothing less.
Scientists and doctors all have many very clear and very definitive theories about how this is supposed to happen for women.
And I do understand and believe in those theories.
But, as a woman (yes a cis-woman, the” classic” kind), I have to admit that my body has never ceased to surprise me when it comes toto basic, “normal” functions.
Mostly the menstruating, cyclic part of it.
I guess that is also one of the reasons I got interested in spiritual ideas around menstruation.
And I thought as an introduction to this group I could narrate to you my menopause, the very peculiar way in which my body stopped menstruating. I believe it makes for a great story. So here I am, sharing that with you too !
So I'm 54 years old.
It is said that the way you menopause is often similar to the way your female lineage did... But for me there is really no way to know.
I have no idea how my mother's menopause would have happened, since she had a hysterectomy before it had a chance to occur naturally.
I did ask my granny about hers but truthfully she was so shocked by the question, she was in no position to answer…
I've had quite a regular cycle all my life... around 30 days but classic, no big pain, no irregularities, etc.
I've had two children... and again no big originality here, fast and simple to become pregnant both times, healthy pregnancies, rather easy deliveries, the second one I had hyperemesis gravidarum for six months but it subsided and except for having to stay more “quiet” than my nature usually demands, no big surprises, no health issues nor postnatal depression.
Just “standard”.
So I lived all my female life in the belief (sheer luck) that all THAT … is a no problem zone.
And I remain so interested and so full of compassion for women whose feminine life has been or is painful, difficult or problematic. I have a deep belief that the way we do menstruation might well be linked to past lives, energetic imprints from our ancestors or even childhood trauma.
Anyways… someday I will write about that a little more. And I do invite you to talk about that.
All those things we don't talk about… Pregnancies, conception, periods, blood, child bearing, labour, giving birth, breastfeeding, delivery, menstruation, pain and all the emotional states that we go through. And yes I will be using the words period, blood, pain... it's not that I don't like the words “moon time” or any other symbolic periphrasis ...
But we still need to make this part of the feminine way more public and bluntly using the “right” words will help to take it out of the taboo zone…
But with menopause, it’s altogether another level of taboo...
Because if society is ashamed of women's blood ( still blue in the tampon commercials) when women stop bleeding, society becomes even more uninterested.
A non bleeding woman definitely has no no interest has she ? Old and sterile… nothing to bring to society…
And again I'm getting sidetracked here.
So… My own journey around all that.
Let's rewind four years.
2017. My cycle is regular and steady and although I am kind of ready for menopause psychologically… nothing happens.
In September 2017, my life literally collapses and all the foundations of what I believe, what I have created my Life upon, my values and my stability are shattered.
My husband is in a coma, close to death, because of his alcoholism, an addiction I hadn't “seen” ( I know “There is no one more blind than the one who doesn't want to see”, and this again is a conversation for some other time).
I have been “working” on that one ever since.
And I now can say I have forgiven both him and myself.
So .. Life shattered.. Beliefs ruined…
My couple, the relationships that was the the rock of my life, the foundation for who I thought I was… in ruins.
At once, without warning or explanation, my body stops menstruating.
It's like my body knows it is useless now.
The possibility that I would want to have other kids with this man is null.
So the fertile part of my body is not needed anymore.
And that's it.
No hot flushes, no irregular cycles, no vaginal dryness, no emotional outbursts or mood swings…
“Menopause is a long and progressive process”... “The four stages of menopause”...
All the knowledge and scientific explanations and theories... just don't apply.
My menopause wasn't long.
It wasn't progressive.
There were no four stages of menopause.
I had my last bleed in August 2017.
And then none.
No symptoms whatsoever.
WTF ?
It's like saying you can bear a child for 15 months before you give birth, right…
Not true.
Well... it was for me.
My body's decision. My body’s truth. My body’s wisdom.
I was ready for a pause, a closure of that part of my life.
So it happened.
Weird, wise, clever body.
But wait there's more…
Fast forward to July 2020.
In the meantime nothing on the blood front, nothing either on the “symptoms” front.
July 9th 2020, my father dies. Quite abruptly and surprisingly.
Two weeks later, I have my period.
And not a dark blood, light one…
A proper one, red, hot, abundant blood…
WTAF ?
I have no scientific explanation.
All I know is the emotional state I was in must have triggered the release of an egg. Because there is no other way my uterus would have produced the “nest” for it and then bled out when the egg wasn't fertilized.
So… The emotional power of the body.
After almost 3 years of menopause, I had my period.
Once.
A big red release.
At a very emotional time.
Ever since?
Nothing.
So I say it again. I'm in menopause.
But I don't know.
And I am in full reference for the body who stopped bleeding when I stopped caring about my couple, about my fertility anymore, for the body who knew I needed a release and was able to give me one.
I am in awe.
And gratitude.
And I fully believe today in body wisdom. Mine and yours.
I fully believe in our body's ability to assist the emotional journey we are in.
And to not comply with science.
How about you?
What is your body telling you?
Do you need a translator?
This is part of my job description, helping you to get in contact with both your emotions, your mind and your amazing body.
So if you know you desire to understand and connect with your body and emotions, in a symbolic, magic way,
If you want to align with the Goddess in you, for the next evolution of your TooMuchness,
If you feel you need assistance to let go of your past and fully step into your present and glorious future,
If you’re willing to embrace absolute self-love and stop betraying yourself every chance you get,
If you're finally ready to invest in yourself … and to back yourself up !
I’ve got two spots for 1:1 coaching !
Book a free Dare to Shine discovery call and let’s see if we are a fit for coaching to unleash your inner Goddess! https://bookme.name/isayabelle/lite/30-minutes-free-discovery-call
I would be so happy to hear from you about all that. Thank you in advance for your comment.
So much for today ...
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.
Isaya
#theinspiringisaya
#isayaistoomuch
#magicopragmaticcoach
#goddessteacher
#positivegoddesslife
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[…] In the last years, I’ve talked about menopause a lot. You might want to read more here for instance: https://isayabelle.com/the-toomuch-womans-tale-of-menopause […]