I read this sentence the other day. I don’t remember where.
"We love to be prepared because we can never be ready."
It raised a few questions.
Question 1: What do we believe we are we preparing for?
The worst. Calamities. Disease. Shit happening.
Death.
Why? Why not prepare for the best?
Well… our brains are wired for that.
It’s called Negativity Bias.
"Brain imaging studies demonstrate that we actually get much bigger ‘neural hits’ from being exposed to negative stimuli in testing situations, meaning our brains – and in turn our biological responses – are more activated and imprinted by things that threaten us than by what most of us would consider positive stimuli. Our brains are more powerfully influenced by bad news and negative experiences."
Aviva Romm, MD
Isn’t it frightening? You can read more and learn how to change that here: https://avivaromm.com/negativity-bias/
Please also remember that our thoughts become our reality. We seriously need to control those and stir towards a more positive attitude.
As for preparing for death, I believe this is a deception, as no human can be fully prepared. It’s simply a reassuring mechanism… and why not? Whatever works to make us feel better, right?
Well…. Not so much. Because the fear of death, if not addressed head on might well become a fear of life… or a life of fear. And that s no life.
My "solution"? Stop yourself from making preparations for survival. Because it’s not working. We can never be ready. We have to be OK with uncertainty and not knowing. Also… We are all going to die anyway.
Yeah, I know, the later, the better.
Which means taking measures to live fully NOW… so whatever happens tomorrow… we are prepared to fly above adversity!
Question 2: What am I prepared to?
That is a big one.
What am I (are you) prepared to do, to be — or rather to feel — safe, happy and more?
Is it just about knowing what I should be doing, aka educating myself on ways to thrive and not merely survive?
Yes. And no.
It is also about implementing. Of course. Back to that in a minute.
As you might know, I have cancer.
What am I prepared to learn?
I’m dealing with it to the best of my abilities. And to best of my knowledge… Which I’m increasing a lot these days, reading, learning about healthier ways to live, eat, hydrate, sleep, move, play, create, travel, work…
Because we can all learn everyday and thanks to the internet and libraries and even to TV and radio and more, most of that learning can be done for free.
That is part of the solution.
And again, part of, not the whole thing.
What am prepared to actually implement?
That, for me, feels like the hardest part. And the most important.
That is why I walk my talk and put new routines into practice.
Following my motto: Start no, start small, keep going.
I don’t believe in radical change, nor do I believe in quantum leaps.
I believe in consistency.
Because it isn’t about pretending for a month or two that I can be someone else (the lean exercising person who wake sup at 5 am to jog), it is about transforming deeply (and forever) my daily habits, my thoughts and my actions.
That take consistency.
Am I prepared to be consistent? Am I prepared to commit to my self-care and self-love? Am I prepared to really walk my talk, no BS excuses or hiding any more?
Are you?
If you know me at all, you know I walk with the Goddess.
Hera, Queen of Gods and Goddess of commitment is my ally in this journey of consistency.
Together with Athena, Goddess of strategy and wisdom, I planned a course of action (you read my previous blog posts to learn more about my choices for the slow, consistent, extreme changes I’m implementing) and asked Hera to help me stay the course.
So far, so good. I’ll keep you posted.
Question 3: How do I even prepare for anything?
Since we’ve established we can never be ready, what does preparing even mean? Well... It’s only about comfort, it’s only about feeling at ease… only about happiness. Which means feeling safe and comfortable in the complete incertitude of life… is huge!! Feeling OK in life, thriving and feeling the joy and the love and the light, that is the basis of happiness.
And, as we now know, it does not come with feeling fully prepared.
So what? How do I "feel" prepared even if I’m not ready?
My personal formula:
Slow down. Be at peace.
Love yourself. Take care.
Love your people. Tell them you do.
Create a balanced life that allows you to be your whole self. Today.
All the rest is noise.
Ooops, I said the words: love yourself.
WTF, Isaya, how do we? Like it’s not an instant decision or a choice, is it?
Nope. I know. Most of us have been brought up – in this life and many previous ones – mainly on guilt and shame.
Guilt makes us feel we have done something bad.
Shame makes us feel we are inherently bad.
Guilt is usually temporary. Shame is permanent. Shame is the obstacle between me and love. Self-love and love altogether.
I’m paraphrasing the amazing Brene Brown here, so go and read her books or listen to her if you want to know more about that topic. (watch her TED talk here for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0)
What does the "voice" in my head tell me about myself when I feel shame?
"You are not good enough. Never"
"Who do you think you are?"
So… step one for inclining towards more self love is … hear the voice, maybe recognize its owner if you can, become conscious of the message, then clearly say no.
"I’m not open and available for that. Out. Get out of my head."
And, slowly, consistently, replace that voice with a more positive one.
One that might say: "Great, Isaya, you’re trying. Congrats, darling, you did exercise today. You’re doing it. I like myself when I walk my talk."
And slowly, consistently, increase the cursor of your self-love talk.
Of course, an immense part of it is also about the self-care.
I have to stop damaging my self-esteem by treating myself so badly. And slowly, consistently, change the way I treat my body, y heart, my soul. As stated previously...
Enough.
So I take measures.
I am done with living in fear. I choose to walk out. I step out of the noise of fear-inducing media. I exit the merry-go round of anxiety, anger, sadness and frustration that the world offer us daily. I leave. Repeatedly.
Which takes courage and determination. And consistency. If you’re reading this in June 2024 when I’m writing it, in France, we are in the worst political situation we have been for a long time… an immensely fear inducing situation. That I choose to not focus on.
I retreat inside my heart and find on the joy.
I focus on me.
I choose me.
I choose healing.
Daily. Slowly. Consistently.
I invite you to do so as well, whether you are physically ill or not.
Oh and while I’m on that topic, let me remind you (and myself!) that we are here talking about progress. Not perfection. Perfection, being by its very nature unattainable, is a breeding ground for shame always. You have been warned!!
To finish this rather long and maybe chaotic article, here is a tiny recipe for help from your Higher Self to that end. Every day, in your journal, choose and write about 3 things:
- One thing you feel you can brag about (however small),
- One you feel gratitude for (again, however unimportant or mundane, I see you "hot water")
- One thing you desire… Please remember that desires (aka wishes, dreams or goals) are free. They don’t need to "come true" to be uplifting your mood… so give yourself permission to dream and desire. Big things like a new house, massive shifts like a new partner, small objects like a new pen, huge changes like a new career, and more. And bask in the felling of that desire for a minute.
These 3 journaling prompts, when answered consistently, will raise your vibration, increase your positive thoughts and your general feeling of happiness, I promise.
Try it and come tell me how it feels!
I would be so happy to hear from you about all that. Thank you in advance for your comment.
So much for today …
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.
Isaya
Now…
Maybe you feel like you want to support me?
I am OK and grateful to receive any Reiki, Prayers, Light, Love, Hugs or any other healing modal sent with pure intentions and love.
As far as advice and "recipes" are concerned, please ask me before you download your knowledge, links or recommendations onto me. Overwhelm is always lurking…
On a very practical way, because I’m going to be focusing on my healing, I will have less money coming in…
One way to help and support me is to actually buy something from me!
You can find some of my Goddess Connected programs here:
https://isayabelle.com/the-magic-goddess-online-programs
or here: https://isayabelle.com/tech-goddess-academy-2
Please also bear in mind that I am reclaiming my journey and that my solutions and my path are mine and mine only. They are not intended to be a guide or a list of advice, a handbook or manual or any kind, least of all medical. This is just me sharing my journey.