Creative Stillness and Brewing Truth

Live your truth, they say.
Talk you truth.
Be authentic.
I’ve said that myself, countless times. To myself and others.
OK.
To an extent, I do that. Because I can’t really be anyone else than me… this would be painful, exhausting and … kinda stupid! Every one else is taken anyway, right?

As Joanna Hunter, one of my mentors, puts it:

"Your only job as a human is to be open, stay in desire and say what it is you desire… let the Universe figure out the how!!! "

Now sometimes the biggest obstacle to living your truth is actually knowing what your truth is.
There is a place within me that always understands what is me, what is for me. Still sometimes I forget how to go to this place. Or there are blocks and delays and confusion and compromises.
And yet. I always find my way back, sooner or later.
This is my time to be starkly honest with myself.
Walk my talk.
Speak my truth.

Now… what is the truth about my life? My health? My career? And my life path?
What do I want for myself?
Really. Genuinely. Profoundly.

This is the time to stride deeply into what is authentic. I feel it.
This a time to be still.
And listen.
To the inside voice that knows my truth.

The issue with that is that I am not a very still person. I am a dynamic, overachiever, kinda workaholic, I love doing stuff, I love creating and sharing and teaching…
Ye I am also a writer who needs peace and quiet to create… An ambivert is a good definition for me.
And yet I’m very much an active woman.

How to quiet myself then and be still?
How to avoid the noise, the distractions, the so-called obligations, other people’s expectations and my own?
How to move beyond my own limitations and allow myself to express freely and creatively, to close my eyes and see the lighthouse calling me home in the dark, to remember my truth and allow the truth, my truth, the one that is wanting to emerge now (because, hey, I’m an evolving mess and my truth is changing and unfolding… and always the same at the same time!)

So how do I do that?
Well, I’ve had an idea.
Do something else.
Look elsewhere and focus on something else.
While I wait.
For the dust to settle.
For the truth to emerge.
For the tide to change.
Because waiting is not my forte as you might have read last week. And yet I know, deep down, that I must.
So I choose to occupy myself.
Not distract myself.
Occupy myself with other things.
I choose to be OK with the waiting and allow for the smoke to clear.

I’ve organized and put into place the good regimen, all the effective routines of my cancer healing journey, so sleep, hydration, clean eating, supplements, movement, meditation, rest and pleasure (aka joy, aka THE most important thing, to me belief!).
Now, I just need to keep doing all of that.
While I wait.
Not get discouraged. Not get distracted.
Simply allow for the healing to happen.
I feel I need to stop looking at it, as in "a watched pot never boils."
Constantly monitoring it won't make it happen any faster, and as we all know, one can’t pull up the grass to make it grow faster.
Trying to force or rush my healing will have the opposite effect, I can feel it. Some things take time and cannot be hurried or manipulated without negative consequences, I know it deep in my heart.

I feel the same about that truth idea.
The plans are in place.
And yet I don’t know what the next phase of my life will be, what my next truth iteration will be.
I need to "forget" about it so I can remember.
Ignore it and do something else altogether.
Because I sense that the more I focus on it, the less clear I am about that famous truth of mine.

So of course I’m on to doing some creative things: writing, creating art and some beautiful paper notebooks, as well as paper folded sculptures and some clothes I’ve been meaning to sew for ages.
What this does for me is dual.
First, while I focus on doing something with my hands or on writing… nothing else matters and with dirty fingers and a happy mind, I journey into the tranquillity and joy of creation, without any stakes or quest for results, happily lost in the peace of the present moment.

I actually teach some artistic techniques and creative practices to invent regular routines that help unplug our minds and enjoy each moment. You can find those on my YouTube Channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_lzgwMzzH-Fvq1WFgecRVL69AE8HB7Yt

Second "benefit" is that these practices and techniques constitute a creative meditation routine, one that allows my mind to really disconnect…
In the meantime…
Then the water boils, the grass has grown, the dust has settled and clarity is emerging.

Now let me be clear: this is not me "distracting" myself, as in TV shows, food, consuming news and politics, addictions of all sorts and the like.
This is me focusing on something else.
In the distraction process, nothing happens "underground".
In the mindful focus on something else, everything happens underground!

So this summer, these few weeks that have been granted to me before the surgery… I do laundry. And art. And write. And declutter my house. I play board games and chat with friends. And maybe grab a swim or two.
And I savour life. I stop rushing through it as thought the goal was to get there faster. I take time. I relinquish control over my life. I relax.
So that in the meantime…
Insights and intuitive answers can emerge.
My truth will be made known to me, I’m sure.
I know all the answers are within, always. So I quiet my mind and expect revelations.

And I will come back to you all with me new found visions for my life and career and life path and truth and the like… later. When the water has boiled.
And I can brew my new truth tea.

I would be so happy to hear from you about all that. Thank you in advance for your comment.
So much for today...
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.
Isaya

 Now…

Maybe you feel like you want to support me as I navigate the Cancer journey?

I am OK and grateful to receive any Reiki, Prayers, Light, Love, Hugs or any other healing modal sent with pure intentions and love.

As far as advice and "recipes" are concerned, please ask me before you download your knowledge, links or recommendations onto me. Overwhelm is always lurking…

On a very practical way, because I’m going to be focusing on my healing, I will have less money coming in…

One way to help and support me is to actually buy something from me!

You can find some of my Goddess Connected programs here:

https://isayabelle.com/the-magic-goddess-online-programs 

or here: https://isayabelle.com/tech-goddess-academy-2

Please also bear in mind that I am reclaiming my journey and that my solutions and my path are mine and mine only. They are not intended to be a guide or a list of advice, a handbook or manual or any kind, least of all medical. This is just me sharing my journey.

Finally I also want to remind you that taking care of myself on this journey means saving my energy for the things that matter. Many of you have been asking for news and updates. Please put yourself in my shoes. I can't and do not want to repeat each and every new thing a dozen times to a dozen different people or in a dozen different groups. It is both tedious and painful. So if you get no direct answer to your questions about my health and my journey and my treatments, etc, do not take it the wrong way or personally. This cancer path has been kicking my ass on so many levels, but the main one is the very vocal reminder that I have to be selfish and take care of myself first. I promise I will give a general update next week in my blog as there will be "news", so stay tuned for that.