The Healing Power of Patience and the Art of Waiting (you wish!)

TRIGGER WARNING: This post talks about my health and there is a lot of medical stuff in there. So if you’re sensitive or if you’re completely bored with that… you may well want to skip it! There is also other stuff in there though, so … your choice!

July 9^th.

The date I had been waiting for. The time when I was going to have all the info about the surgery on August 2nd, about the way my body was going to be assisted in healing cancer.

I had been patiently waiting for that date. For a few weeks, that felt like an eternity.

But hey, you know… Nothing ever goes exactly as planned, right?

So. Let me give all of you the much awaited update on my health and cancer journey.

Short recap for those who need to catch up.

I’ve got cancer. In my right kidney. A tiny 3cm tumour that needs to be removed, despite the fact that it does not seem to be growing.

The "official" treatment plan is surgery, nothing more.

Yet, as things with us humans are often more complicated than it seems at first… I also have what is called latent tuberculosis. Or I might have. Exams are still being processed. It was discovered when doing scans of my abdomen to investigate the kidney cancer.

Now what does this have to do with that?

Well… Tuberculosis (TB) is an infectious disease that most often affects the lungs. TB is caused by a type of bacteria. It spreads through the air when infected people cough, sneeze or spit. TB is usually treated with antibiotics and can be fatal without treatment.

People with latent TB infection are infected with TB bacteria, but they do not have TB disease. However, if these bacteria become active and multiply, latent TB infection can develop into TB disease. Oh and by the way, if active tuberculosis can be contagious, latent tuberculosis is not, and it is therefore not possible to get TB from someone with latent tuberculosis.

So my pneumologist (OMGoddess, so many doctors… And now I even say MY pneumologist… Can’t believe the person I’m becoming!), my pneumologist, was I saying, prescribed a very aggressive antibiotic treatment t get rid of TB altogether, while waiting for some test results that may confirm or not that I have TB.

Now my urologist, who’s taking care of the kidney cancer, is not sure he’s happy proceeding to the surgery while a/ I’ve got TB. And b/ I’m taking this strong drug that is not recommended during general anaesthesia.

It feels like my body is a car, or a crime scene and it is undergoing a long, tedious yet thorough investigation, to find EVERYTHING that is wrong with it (I was even told to go the dentist the other day, go figure). A mere oil change and regular service won’t suffice. I need the big review and renovation, the reconditioning, the revamping of every nook and cranny in my body.

An of course, they find something every time.

Which is both reassuring (good, let’s fix that too!) and terrifying (how much can be wrong with me?

And breathe Isaya, breathe.

OK then.

Let’s do this.

So?

Well… The doctors have to discuss between themselves and take a decision. Either to maintain the surgery on August 2^nd, or to postpone it 6 weeks down the road when the TB is under control. 

In the meantime… I wait.

Again.

I have come to understand that healing is mostly waiting for the body to heal, the doctors to understand, the test results to be delivered.

I am not a very patient patient per se.

I’m more of an impatient patient.

My inner speech very often goes like this: "let’s do this and get it over with so I can do other things, like travel and write and create and make some money and sing and more."

Wait a second (pun intended).

Is that my big lesson here?

That waiting is healing, that healing is waiting.

For time to do its thing, for the body to self-heal, for the magic of western medicine to kick in, for all my "good work" to integrate, to settle, to manifest the balance and wellness I seek.

I know that the body's ability to heal itself is a fascinating and complex process, supported by various mechanisms that work together to restore health and maintain balance. If you want to know more about that, I’ll add a little section at the end of this article on the body’s self-healing ability.

I’m also learning that this self-healing ability can be enhanced through certain lifestyle choices and practices (see my previous blog posts for that).

And by time. Just time. By doing nothing and waiting.

OMGoddess, what a lesson.

I asked Google for quotes around waiting and here’s what I got:

"There is more to life than increasing its speed." Mahatma Gandhi

"Sometimes doing nothing is the most productive thing you can do." Eckhart Tolle

Is that what I need to learn? Again and again.

That I need to stop. To do nothing. Like really nothing?

And wait. Be OK with time passing without any pushing and pulling on my part, just being here with whatever is and wait. And receive.

"Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible." Mandy Hale

Being the chrysalis, not the caterpillar any more, not yet the butterfly.

And wait. More.

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yes, indeed. Nature always was my master and my guide.

So patience it is, you impatient chrysalis!

Find ways to spend the time in between in joy, peace and self-discovery, patiently waiting for the deep healing to occur, patiently waiting for the dust to settle and for clarity to surface on what the next iteration of myself is going to be.

Wait for the butterfly to be ready to fly.

F*.

I just got interrupted while writing this article by a phone call from the doctor with news.

To be on the safe side with this TB stuff, my surgery is postponed to September 26^th.

So… more waiting.

As much as I’d love to be on the "other side of this", it seems the Universe has decided I need more time as the chrysalis, more time to do nothing but take care of myself and just wait.

And breathe Isaya, breathe.

I might come up with a plan for this new "gifted" summer time. Or not. I’ll let you know next week, once I’ve started digesting the new circumstances.

I would be so happy to hear from you about all that. Thank you in advance for your comment.

So much for today …

See you soon, for my next online adventures!

Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.

Isaya

PS: for the medical geeks and the anatomically curious:

As I mentioned before, the body's ability to heal itself is a fascinating and complex process, supported by various mechanisms that work together to restore health and maintain balance. This self-healing ability can be enhanced through certain lifestyle choices and practices.

1. Cellular Regeneration: Every second, our cells are actively working to maintain homeostasis, the state of internal balance. Cells have the remarkable ability to heal themselves and replicate to replace damaged or dead cells. For instance, when you get a cut, your body immediately begins the healing process by forming a clot, regenerating skin cells, and repairing tissues.

2. Homeostasis and Emotional Health: Homeostasis is the body’s way of maintaining internal stability. Emotional well-being plays a significant role in this process. Negative emotions can disrupt bodily functions, while positive mental states can promote healing. For instance, chronic stress can impair the immune system, but managing stress through mindfulness or therapy can enhance the body’s natural healing processes.

3. Nutrition and Immunity: Nutrition is crucial for supporting the body’s defence systems. Specific foods can boost immunity, aid in tissue repair, and protect DNA. A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can activate the body’s healing mechanisms, such as angiogenesis (the growth of new blood vessels) and stem cell regeneration.

4. Naturopathic Medicine: Naturopathic doctors focus on natural therapies to support the body’s healing. They emphasize the importance of treating the root causes of illness rather than just alleviating symptoms. This approach often includes lifestyle changes, nutrition, and stress management to restore balance and promote overall health.

5. Spending Time in Nature: Being in nature has substantial health benefits. It reduces stress, improves mood, and enhances physical health. Activities like walking in green spaces can lower blood pressure, improve heart health, and boost mental well-being. Regular exposure to nature can be a vital part of a holistic approach to health maintenance.

Overall, while modern medicine plays a crucial role in treating diseases, supporting the body’s natural healing abilities through a healthy lifestyle, proper nutrition, emotional well-being, and exposure to nature can significantly enhance health outcomes. These approaches emphasize the body's inherent capacity to maintain and restore itself.