Stop and Heal: the threshold of the desert

Short recap: I have cancer. As a wise Goddess living a Goddess Life, I choose to heal and do whatever I can to help my healing process. You can read more here: https://isayabelle.com/the-wise-goddess-takes-up-cancer

I tried to pretend that I could "deal with it" and keep going.
I can’t. I have received numerous nudges form the Universe reminding me that healing is a big thing.
A thing that needs time. And energy. And dedication. And self-love.
So much self-love.
So...
Everything has to change (frightening, isn’t it?). I have to change my attitudes AND my beliefs around work, life, success, self-love, rest, nutrition, spirit, hydration… You name it.

The universe REALLY wants me to stop everything... so I am (more about what that means for my business at the end of this post).
As I choose to pause everything in my life and devote myself to healing and loving myself back to health, I contemplate the void in front of me. And wonder...
As I see my life change before my very eyes, I know I get to enjoy life daily rather than running around in circles in my own personal hamster wheel and expecting/believing that I will rest and enjoy if and when I reach that success, that milestone, that revenue.
I know it means I get to live a longer life and my body will be a healthier vessel for that journey.
Yet, as all that was my life is brutally not any more, I’m facing the vacuum.
And having to deal with it.
What shall I do?
Who am I if I’m not working?
How will I make any money?
It’s nice and fine to say that I will "simply be", but daily, what does it mean?
I know myself well enough that I’m pretty sure sitting in meditation for 6 hours a day is not something that I’m able to do or that will bring me healing or joy. Just sheer frustration. At least for now. Maybe I need to learn that too.
I know my nervous system needs some time and care and so does my body as a whole.
So I am giving that to myself.
I am sent back to the drawing board to invent and create a new way, a new path.
I feel like I need to learn everything from scratch.
Who I am.
What I need to be happy and healthy.
What I want.

And in the emptiness in front of me… at the threshold of the desert as Mary Reynolds Thompson would put it… I have to - and I will - find myself again and new things will emerge. (Meet and get to know Mary here: https://www.maryreynoldsthompson.com/)
So here I stand, at the desert’s threshold, alone and naked.
Frightened.
And exhilarated that I get to define myself again.
Living a Goddess Life. Always.

I am loving that even though it seems hard or painful, I still feel lucky and grateful that I am given (or giving myself) this new opportunity to invent myself a different future. So many aren’t.
As I walk this path of reinventing myself and letting myself be without effort, expectations or outcome goals, I feel the joy and gratitude.
I am grateful that my body is communicating clearly with me and that I heard the messages.
I am grateful I get to be able to do that, i.e. take care of myself without the added pressure of goals or results. The one result I am after is a better life quality each and every day. I take care of myself in that perspective.
I am grateful to the Universe that has y back and supports me in all possible ways through this intense healing and reset.

Most of the cards I pulled for myself this last week contained the words stillness, rest or healing.
I’m listening Universe, I’m listening.
I know stillness is where my power emerges, where the truth becomes visible. I surrender to stillness. I resist the temptation to indulge in feelings of overwhelm, urgency and or emergency. I also resist the urge to plan and control each and every step of my healing journey.
I let go of effort.
I let go of outcomes.
I simply let myself be.

So just say Yes.

Yes to stillness and rest and the desert.
Yes to finding balance again.
Yes to the discomfort of the vacuum.
Yes to deep healing.
Yes to me.

And no to everything and everyone else.
So…
All my "live" projects are cancelled until further notice.
No Live workshops in the UK at the end of June as planned, no Retreat in Greece in September, no Women Lighting the Way Summit this summer, no new programs every month as I'd dreamt of. As for later… I will keep you posted.

All my "replay" projects are still on, masterclasses, online courses, programs, etc and can all be found on my website here: https://isayabelle.com/the-magic-goddess-online-programs and here: https://isayabelle.com/tech-goddess-academy-2

The Goddess Self-Care Oracle Deck is still available, whether digitally or physically here: https://isayabelle.com/goddess-self-care-oracle-sp

If you were hoping to work with me 1to1 over the summer, whether in the Magic realm of the Tech realm, please reach out via email and we can see if we can manage that. Please don’t keep your hopes too high though…sisters@isayabelle.com

I will keep writing my blog and sharing with you the tribulations of a wise Goddess taking up cancer – or of an elated/terrified Gen X woman reinventing herself (and all the other topics dear to my heart that I feel like sharing about!). Unless It’s not good for me. In which case I’ll stop. And walk my talk.

I will keep producing my podcast, one episode weekly… although most will be recorded and not live for the time being. There are already over 90 episodes to listen to … Listen to the podcast here: https://pod.co/isayas-inspiring-evenings or here: https://spoti.fi/3TjSaSq

I would be so happy to hear from you about all that. Thank you in advance for your comment.
So much for today ...
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.
Isaya

Now…
Maybe you feel like you want to support me?
I am OK for receiving any Reiki, Prayers, Light, Love, Hugs or any other healing modal sent with pure intentions and love.
As far as advice and "recipes" are concerned, please ask me before you download your knowledge, links or recommendations onto me. Overwhelm is lurking already…

On a very practical way, because I’m going to be focusing on my healing, I will have less money coming in…
One way to help and support me is to actually buy something from me!
You can find some of my Goddess Connected programs here: https://isayabelle.com/the-magic-goddess-online-programs or here: https://isayabelle.com/tech-goddess-academy-2

Please also bear in mind that I am reclaiming my journey and that my solutions and my path are mine and mine only. They are not intended to be a guide or a list of advice, a handbook or manual or any kind, least of all medical. This is just me sharing my journey.