March 12


The Too Much Woman, chapters 1 and 2

By IsayaBelle

March 12, 2021

Too Much WOman

A few days ago, I wrote this on my social media .. It has triggered so many comments and answers that I believe it has to be shared as a blog post  and podcast episode as well.. So here we go …

Chapter 1

Watch out …  this is a rant!

This is what a too much, happy, too fat, wealthy, successful woman looks like.

I have been fat all my life.

And yes I know it isn't politically correct to say fat.

But I don't care.

I am overweight.

I am fat.

I am double XL. Sometimes triple.

I am too much.


I always was.

And I always will be.


A few days ago two different people addressed my "weight issues"...

It has been really enlightening...


First there was this woman who very seriously asked me if I had ever thought that the fat around my body was there as a protection against whatever bad things the universe was throwing at me...



I am 53 years old.

I have been fat all my life.

I am not stupid.

Of course I know...

I have been working, "doing the work" around my weight issues for 30-something years...

So yes I know, thank you.


And you know what?

As a matter of fact it's good that I'm fat, because I have been attacked, insulted, made fun of, treated really badly and generally considered and treated like a stupid fat cow.


And again yes I know this is not politically correct.

But it has been my reality for more than 40 years.

So f*** politically correct.

And please, please for the Goddess sake, stop patronizing me.

I am doing my best.


Maybe I will get thin some day.

Or maybe not.


But I will always be too much.

Too loud, too opinionated, too many questions, too many ideas, too much color, too much experience, too many languages, too bossy, too different, too quick, too strong, too weird, too unconventional, too sensitive, too tall, too positive, too big, too childish, too emotional, too dreamish, too colorful, too much energy, too much money ...

Too much.

I am a Too Much Woman.

And you know what? I think I like it.

And I’m done apologizing for it.


Then there was this other person who said " You can be successful, you can live your best life in the body you have right now."


And I literally started breathing again.

Somebody was looking at me without the intention of trying to fix me.

I am not broken.

I am too fat.

I don't need fixing.

I am not proud of being fat.

But neither am I ashamed of it.


This is me.

I am a Too Much Woman.

This is what a too much, happy, too fat, wealthy, successful woman looks like.

Goddesses were never meant to be skinny or mini, this much too much goodness has always needed a Goddess sized body to contain it!


Voilà. End of rant.

Chapter 2

So last week I wrote a post about being fat, too fat. 

A post about being a Too much woman. 

It had a lot of reactions. 

Most of them were incredibly positive. 

Most of them were cheering me up for stepping fully into being myself. 

That felt really good.

Thanks everyone... Feeling seen... 

Yet I started to feel something brewing…

There is way more to that than "a beautiful photo"... You see I was not fishing for compliments or reassurance here... Just speaking my truth... 

And then there were also a few comments about one particular sentence, that I feel need to be addressed. 

Here is the sentence... 

“Goddesses were never meant to be skinny or mini, this much too much goodness has always needed a Goddess sized body to contain it!”

I got loads of comments about this one. 

Not very nice ones. 

Ladies telling me that I was shaming people. 

Which I wasn't, please read the sentence again. 

Maybe the problematic sentence should have been altered like this:

“Goddesses were never meant to ONLY be skinny or mini, this much too much goodness has always needed a Goddess sized body to contain it!”

English is not my first language so maybe it wasn't clear. 

Nothing shaming in that, is there ? 

Other people were telling me that goddesses come in all sizes. 

Sure, Goddesses come in all sizes and shapes, I couldn’t agree more. 


Still ...

Out of curiosity, and to check if it was a bias of mine, I did a Google search. I searched Google Images for the word “Goddess”. 

I scrolled down 10 pages and did not find one image, one single image, of an overweight woman/Goddess. 


Then just to make sure, I did a second Google search. I searched images again for “beautiful woman”. 

Same type of results. 

No fat woman to be seen anywhere. 


Is that fair?

I'm slightly annoyed here. 

I am being told off for shaming skinny and mini women... 

But the sad reality is that fat women are nowhere to be seen when the word Goddess or the word beautiful is mentioned... 

So I will stand my ground. 

And reclaim both beauty and the Goddess for fat women too. 

Skinny women already have magazine covers, movies, models, movie stars, and the general eye of the public. 

Is that fair?

I am too fat. 

I am beautiful. 

I am a Goddess. 

And by stating that, I am not removing anything from anyone. 

I am reclaiming my right to Goddess Status. 

I am not stealing, taking it away from anyone. 

But the truth is, the vast majority of beautiful feminine role models are skinny. 

Is that fair? 

I was really impressed that writing about my Too muchness triggered skinny women to comment on THEIR Goddess status ... 

Is there no moment to ONLY talk about fat women?

Do we always have to talk about skinny women too?

Is that fair? 

The other type of comment that I got, was because the post began with me stating it was a rant. 

And I was told that I shouldn't rant, that it was a negative energy. 

To that I only have one answer. 


Standing up for one's right, reclaiming one's power, speaking my truth... 

This has nothing to do with negative energy. 

This is empowerment. And it’s an amazingly positive energy.

I know that because I feel GREAT when I write about that !

Whether you like it. 

Or not. 

Another type of comment that I got which also triggered this response, is the people who commented on the picture saying "Oh... Beautiful" ... 

Maybe I should have put a picture of my fat legs, or of the bulges around my belly... 

I have to admit I chickened out and decided to put a picture that was rather a pretty one...

But still... 

At the bottom of a long text explaining how I am reclaiming my Too muchness and owning all of myself, I would have loved to not be reduced to physical beauty. 


Even if it was to compliment me. 

Is it really all that we care about?

Was it really the subject of my post? 

Is it fair ?

Because you see, this is not what I need, neither does any other Too Much woman in my opinion.

I don’t need to be told “You’re beautiful too” or “You're beautiful in your own way”.

I’m not 5. I know what I know.

The Google search proved that the beauty standards are what they are…

I know for a fact that society does not think of me as beautiful.


I KNOW I’m beautiful by my standards and by the ones of people who matter to me… I gave up feeling bad for that years ago… I love myself, warts and all… (that’s what the original post was about!)

So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t patronize me …

What I need is for us to change our standards and consider that there are other values than physical beauty, 

What I need is for us to start valuing people’s intelligence, emotional awareness, knowledge, memory, physical abilities, skills, psychic abilities and so much more … 

And open our hearts to all that being the beauty of a person.

Maybe I will share a photo of the bulges … (I am, albeit having to breathe really slowly ... and one of my face too, because I will not be reduced to my "fatitude" either).

I guess you realized that this is dear to my heart, and I will be talking about that again... 

And again. It might even become a series … The Too Much woman rants …

Would you like it ?

Hush for now Isaya …

Too much again ?

If you feel you are a Too Much Woman too, and you seek help to fully step into this superpower, I am the coach for you.

Let's connect in a free Dare to Shine discovery call and see if we could work together!

I'll let you think about it and tell me what you think in the comments.

So much for today ...

See you soon, for my next online adventures!

Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.


PS: In case you are wondering ... Of course “there is a goddess for that” and that is Hera, Goddess of commitment and dealing with emotions! It's her little character who appears in the images of the post!

PS2 : Come and join my free FB Group where Too Much women hang around, support each other and rise !

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