So earlier this year I asked a bunch of women what being TooMuch meant for them…
What part of it meant more to them,Which part was harder to navigate, understand and harness.
Because I'm convinced that being a TooMuch woman is a superpower and not a super curse as you might have been led to believe…
And still we need to learn and tame these words, these feelings, these understandings.
The majority of women answered that what resonated the most for them was …
Here's what might be going on in your head (it did in mind) and outside your head… Because the world is harsh sometimes…
“You're way too emotional about this”
“You're a real wuss, crying over that silly soapy TV show”
“Oh come on, get a grip”
“Pull yourself together, stop whining”
“Just don't take it personally but I really can't stand this attitude”
“This is not about you”
But you see…
This is about me.
Because being a TooMuch woman a first and foremost implies ... being a woman.
And the logical approach to life, the one that says that things are one-way, one right way (or wrong !) is a masculine way of dealing with the world.
And I know you (and I) might not even understand how deeply we don't know any different, because we have been living in patriarchy for so long.
But that's it you see.
There is another way. A non-logical one. An emotional one. A feminine one.
Emotional intelligence is intelligence.
So is “gut feeling”... science has now proven that we all have brain type cells in our bellies.
Anyway, back to the TooMuch woman.
So she is too emotional.
And let's not waste time discussing what this TooMuch emotion is in comparison to... Men... Always...pfff …
Yes I am too emotional.
You see, women are complex beings that have multiple hormonal patterns and rhythms…
Women are cyclic by nature and dancing in our menstrual cycle are the archetypes which each embody a completely different set of emotional reactions to the world.
Men have one pattern.
We have four.
And I know I am oversimplifying here, I know men are not that simple either, but still…
We embody four archetypes every month, from the dynamic Maiden to the nurturing Mother, to the magic Enchantress and the wise quiet Crone.
Each has got a whole set of emotional patterns, beliefs, insights, values and reactions…
Each is a different person who lives in me for a week every month.
No wonder if I am disconnected from my menstrual cycle, I may feel too emotional, too complicated, even to myself.
We need to remember our cyclic nature to get in touch with the whole set of our emotions.
And accept them.
Celebrate our TooMuchmess in emotions and feelings.
Then there is the question of the general opinion that emotions are … well “bad”.
Messy if you prefer.
Mostly the ones we have named negative emotions.
Like anger, sadness, shame, rage, despair, guilt and the like.
Let's go back to the word itself: e-motion.
Emotions are neither good nor bad, they are signals from our body, mind, and spirit. They are in motion, information in motion.
And I cry when I'm sad.
The crucial point here is the motion part. Emotions are supposed to flow, to move through our energy system…
In which case, they wash over us and clean the “cause” of the emotion when leaving.
Like tears clean our eyes.
But we have brainwashed ourselves that emotions are messy, bad, disturbing so we try to suppress them...
Then we erupt like volcanoes when there is too much to be contained …
And now we're really out of control…
Let's back up a little.
What if we allowed emotions to flow through us, not judging them, just witnessing them?
So I am sad. My father died and I'm feeling all the feels. Emotions traverse me like waves of sorrow, grief and sheer pain.
And that will leave me when it's time, I'm when all has been said and done.
I can't rush emotions.
I don't want to suppress them.
I live through them. They live through me.
And I'm not even sorry if you find that too much, too messy, too loud, too disturbing ..
I will invite you to consider, if you are triggered by my TooMuchness, what part of yourself you are denying, silencing, what emotion in me mirrors the ones you are not giving yourself permission to express and live through ?
But that is your journey.
Mine is to be the TooMuch l woman.
To express every bit of myself, every motion, every feeling.
To model the permission for you to be loud, snotty, angry, overcome by joy and gratitude, lost in sadness or irritated, peaceful (like … can I be too peaceful ? lol!), dancing along to your favourite song in the kitchen ( ask for the playlist), or screaming your rage in the forest when life sucks... and so much more…
Yes, be too emotional. Or not.
Just be exactly as emotional as you feel.
Express your emotions.
There is no such thing as too emotional. it's just a lie, a cage, a prison you agreed to lock yourself in.
Get out. Now. You have my blessing and my permission.
Oh!... And just to be extra clear.
Expressing all my emotions all the time does not mean throwing them at others.
We get to choose how we express our emotions.
We get to decide, when we acknowledge our emotion and detach from it, how to express it.
I scream in the forest.
Never at others. Nor at myself.
I express my sadness to others and ask for comfort if I feel it... or not.
I share my joy with my loved ones.
So this is the journey.
Acknowledging our emotions.
Detaching from them.
Expressing them in a non dangerous way.
And letting them flow through us.
And surf the next wave.
And remember... Even joy and happiness are emotions that will pass. it's ok too. More will come.
Just let it flow. All of it. The good and the ugly.
No trying to suppress it.
No trying to deny it.
No trying to cancel it.
No trying to judge it.
Because you see that is the biggest trap here… the judging…
What if you just didn't do that?
Just let it be (and yes I hear Paul's voice too)
So... are you too emotional ?
Are you a TooMuch Woman ?
Do you need help navigating all that?
Are you ready to invest in yourself ?
I’ve got several spots for 1:1 coaching starting in June !
Let's connect in a free Dare to Shine discovery call and see if we could work together! (no strings attached!)
I would be so happy to hear from you about all that. Thank you in advance for your comment.
So much for today ...
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.