June 29


The stories we tell ourselves and how to change the narrative

By IsayaBelle

June 29, 2023

lifestory, self-love, stories, wltw, Women lighting the way, women stories

So this morning I was on TikTok (come and follow me there by the way, I’m sharing love and positivity all around!) listening to a woman who was discussing the shift in the Earth’s vibration and the ascension to a higher dimension… When asked how one could see or feel this shift, she answered that it’s all about what you believe, what you trust. If you were to believe that nothing ever changes, well guess what?...Nothing ever will. At least you won’t see or feel any of the changes.
Basics of Law of Attraction, right…
Like energy attracts like energy.
Wrong. I believe there's more to that actually.
I’ve been pondering around that for a while now and I’ve come to understand (with a little help from my Dream Spirit Team!) that it all comes down to the stories we tell ourselves.
What do we, on a daily basis tell ourselves about life, about ourselves, about society, about climate change and the like.

I have talked before about egregores.
Egregore (from Ancient Greek ἐγρήγορος, egrēgoros 'wakeful') is an occult concept representing a non-physical entity that arises from the collective thoughts of a distinct group of people. To give you a clear, albeit very negative example, when a lot of people start thinking that slavery is rather a good idea… the egregor of allowing slavery grows in the ethers and just waits until someone actually starts implementing… It then takes years or even centuries of people changing their minds to dissolve the egregore… and create a new one around slavery being a no-go.
My point?
The stories we tell ourselves are crucial, not only because we then start believing them and letting them shape our reality and dictate our lives… These stories also shape the egregores that define reality on a larger scale.
So time it is to stop telling ourselves BS lies about our not enoughness, about our flaws or failures.
It is time to change the narrative. Literally.

Every day, we tell ourselves stories. As we go about our day, we piece together gaps in our knowledge – narrativizing a standoffish stare on the tube or an unanswered text from a friend with a self-crafted explanation. Storytelling occurs at our most basic experience of navigating the world. But most of the time, we aren’t even aware of ourselves doing it.
And that is where it can become self-harming (and feed the “wrong” egregore as discussed above).
We need to become aware of our inner narrative, of the stories we tell ourselves…

Because “we are the stories we tell ourselves” as stated by Shekhar Kapur in his amazing Ted talk. “In this universe, and this existence, where we live with this duality of whether we exist or not and who are we, the stories we tell ourselves are the stories that define the potentialities of our existence. We are the stories we tell ourselves. So that's as wide as we look at stories. A story is the relationship that you develop between who you are, or who you potentially are, and the infinite world, and that's our mythology… We tell our stories, and a person without a story does not exist. So Einstein told a story and followed his stories and came up with theories and came up with theories and then came up with his equations.”

Storytelling occurs at our most basic experience of navigating the world. We create narratives to move us into—and through—the moments of life. As human beings, we possess a natural inclination for storytelling, which undeniably sets us apart as a unique species. And it takes conscious effort to experience the world without interpreting it. Without cause and effect, we would wade through the world like zombies, only aware of the present as a tangle of sensory impressions, unable to make sense of anything. Philosopher Nassim Nicholas Taleb describes our instinctive need to bind A to B – to weave separate facts together with an explanation, to create a story – as the narrative fallacy.

Let's explore the realm of storytelling through a specific lens: the narratives we construct to depict our own lives—our autobiographical tales that encompass our past, present, and future aspirations. It is my belief that each one of us engages in the development and presentation of these personal life stories. Frequently, we share these accounts when we encounter someone new, aiming to shape their perception of our identity and influence how they interact with us. Additionally, we often recount these stories during pivotal moments or transformative life experiences.
Of course, other people are not the only recipients of these stories; we also present them to ourselves. We all have a natural desire to be perceived positively, both in our own lives and in the eyes of others. Rather than being seen as the "villain," we seek recognition and respect. The stories we weave serve as our attempts to maintain that favourable perception. Even when we admit to our failures, it is an effort to demonstrate remorse and showcase that we are fundamentally good-hearted individuals, with our current missteps being mere exceptions or roadblocks that we overcame.

While we do seek the approval of others, the most important audience for our narratives is ourselves. These carefully crafted stories provide us with a sense of confidence, assuring us that we are on the right path. They reinforce our belief that the choices we've made in life are sound. They offer coherence amid life's turbulent challenges and assist us in staying committed to our goals. Furthermore, these stories prepare us for significant transitions, allowing us to navigate from one version of ourselves to the next with clarity and readiness.

Thus, sometimes, our inherent tendency to seek patterns can lead us astray, causing us to get stuck in rigid ways of thinking. We might hastily jump to conclusions and misjudge someone's character (or our own!) based on our limited information or preconceived notions.

Daniel Kahneman describes a bias he coined as the Halo Effect as “exaggerated emotional coherence”. Once we form an opinion about a person, we are prone to judge other aspects of their character in light of this initial belief. This is because we are hardwired to look for evidence that bolster opinions we already have, rather than submit to the uncertainty admitted by new ideas.
We feel more comfortable with coherent stories, than we do with experiencing the world as it really is, which a lot of the time is random, incoherent and unpredictable. “We will tend to more easily remember those facts from our past that fit a narrative, while we tend to neglect others that do not appear to play a causal role in that narrative,” Kahneman writes.

Yet once we are aware of our story-telling tendencies, we can use this to our advantage. The stories we tell ourselves provide an insight into our subconscious minds: our fears, desires and ambitions. When we reflect on these stories, we can learn more about ourselves – what our values are, what we view as meaningful and important.
And here is the most exciting part. In realising how prone we are to tell stories, and more importantly – to believe them – we are able to create new ones. And when we change the stories we tell ourselves, we can change the way we see the world and ourselves within it.
Being conscious of the stories we tell ourselves prevents us from becoming fixed in the same patterns of behaviour and thought. We can thrive in an unpredictable, changing world in our ability to change the way we exist within it. And change the world itself in the process (remember the egregores!).

To do so, to become aware and conscious of our own stories (truth or lie) … we need perspective.
And what better perspective than other points of views, other narratives?
That is why I believe we need to listen to stories, other’s stories, parallel stories, similar or distinct, diverse and multiple.
All stories are Soul Food. For women, women’s stories are even more so.

As I have discussed before I believe there is a shortage of women’s stories available for us to be inspired from. That is why I co-founded the Women Lighting the Way Summit, where amazing women from around the world tell their stories to inspire, empower and enlighten us.
The 2023 edition is happening right now, it’s free and with 14 remarkable women sharing their stories of healing, empowerment, and transformation, this 3-day online event is sure to inspire, entertain, and amaze.
There is still time to register, watch the replays and discover your own story and experience the power of women supporting and uplifting one another. Join here: https://wltw-2023.heysummit.com/

I believe that is all for today.
I would be so happy to hear from you.
Thank you in advance for your comment.
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.

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