May 6


About selfishness, children, money and guilt …

By IsayaBelle

May 6, 2021

About selfishness, children, money and guilt 
When I was younger, so much younger than today…
I met the man who was to become my husband of 30 years.
He was adamant he never wanted to have children.
The world, he said, was sad and corrupt, hard and cold, doomed and declining.
No one sane of mind would bring children in this world, he argued, it would be such a mean thing to do to them, to force them to live in this world.
Being a woman, in charge of the species perpetuation (yes that is what our hormones are here for),  I disagreed.
But not only for hormonal reasons.
I was, and still on, a rational thinker. and an optimist.
I believed it was my duty ( both moral and very down to Earth) to bring children into this world and educate them to change it, to tackle the incredible task of changing society, ways of thinking and doings that are both obsolete and threatening to humanity and the planet.
I argued that if only misogynistic people, people who had no inclination to care about the environment, social justice, world peace, fighting inequalities, if only these people had children, well of course it would doom the world a little more…
It thus was our responsibility to have children as we were, and are part of the “let's change this crap” category.
I was convinced I would have daughters, who would support my feminist causes, and who I could accompany on the path to liberation…
I argued not having children was a selfish attitude ( and not in a good way)
I was insistent in my beliefs.
And convincing.
We have two children. Both boys.
I know now that my purpose on this planet included them, and my educating them in a way that they are the best advocates for women, the most convinced feminists I know.
I did my job. They've grown now and they are, just like me, acting and participating in the much needed world changes.
I'm good. I'm proud. Of them. Of myself. And their father.
Although …
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my husband.
About money. and rich people.
And... 35 years later, my husband had almost the same opinions… Let me paraphrase ...

Rich people are bad. If we become rich, we will join the “bad, mean, greedy” club they all are in.
We are lucky to be on the “right side” and have all our basic needs met, and we should be grateful for that, not ask for more, and surely feel some guilt about the incredible luck we have, to have what we have when others don't.
We don't need more. Even thinking about getting rich makes us mean and greedy.

And here I was. Again. Arguing the opposite.Let me explain.
I believe desiring to become rich is the exact opposite of a selfish position. I believe people who say I don't need more are the selfish ones.
We have all heard the reframe: “Ok, I don't need more, but it's ok for me to want more, to desire more.”  And it is.
I go further.
I need more money. So much more money.
Not for me.
But for the world change I was talking about earlier.
If only people who have no intention of investing in changing everything that is wrong in this world become multi millionaires…
In a society where money is such an important tool for change…
The odds for a fast change are really not good …
So, I believe “not needing money” is not a “good person's position”, but a highly selfish one (again, not in a good sense)
For me ... I don't need more either.
But I need more.  For you. For every child, woman or man who I can help it, for every life I can change when I touch them (hire them, gift them, support their businesses, lend them money and just plainly inspire them)
When someone is in a hopeless situation, money will help them move to a place of being able to create their future…
Because when your basic needs are met ( food, water, roof, heat and acceptance in society) you can proceed to be an agent of creation and change in the world.
Ripple effect. Huge.
So I want more money.
I need it.
I believe all “woke” people need more. Fast.
And we could do so much more, so much quicker, if we did not get lost in our old fashioned and overall egoistic, individualist beliefs around money.

Let's go ladies!
Let's make children and teach them new beliefs!
Let's send them into the world as agents of change and renewal!
Let's make money, heaps of money!
Let's send it into the world as an agent of change and hope for a radical transformation!
Stop wasting time.
It's our purpose. Our mission. 
It's our time.


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