Mind officially blown.
After weeks, months or even years of procrastination, I finally decided to start on the decluttering of my wardrobe.
This is long overdue…
Over the last year, with lock-downs, grief and menopause, I did put on some weight.
I’ve never been thin anyway but lately… My body has changed. I’m not sure I’m happy with that, but hey … I’m working on it (both on the liking and on the creating a body that I fully love!)
Anyway. I’ve been thinking of trimming my wardrobe for a couple of years, because, and here I’m going to quote the voice in my head:
- I’ve got way too many clothes.
- So many of these clothes do not ft me anymore.
- I am not the person I was, and many of my clothes were intended for that person (Middle School Teacher, Active Salsa Dancer, Tantric Workshops Facilitator, House Renovator, etc).
Yes. Many reasons.
Yet nothing was happening.
I wrote that goal on my journal so many times.
And still nothing.
Procrastinating big time.
Opening my cupboards daily and feeling judged by all those clothes that I didn’t wat to/couldn’t wear…
And always wearing the same 10 ones, the "safe" ones.
Fast forward to October 28th 2022.
I had a session with Kristy Iris. I chose to work on this clothes issue.
We talked for an hour and we unraveled so many stories, so many beliefs and so many blocks I was creating for myself around this wardrobe decluttering.
First of all, she had me show her ALL the clothes in ALL the cupboards.
I could feel the shame of "having too many".
I don’t even want to go into the reasons for that shame now.
Let’s just say that my family’s ethics and lifestyle (both with my parents and with my husband and kids) did not approve of many clothes, of any "girly" stuff either by the way (other subject, I know, get a grip Isaya!).
I was supposed to have few items to travel light and not be "greedy" with my wardrobe. I was supposed to not participate to the world over-consumption and ecological disaster…
Just go with a pair of jeans and a T-shirt…
Kristy simply laughed.
She explained that by US standards, my cupboards were not "huge" in any way.
I could feel my breath quieting.
So it was MY standards.
There isn’t a global law of "how many clothes are too many".
And I can hear how stupid that sounds.
But, hey, the feeling of shame was real for me.
Maybe you can relate (whether about the clothes or about something else) …
Then we talked about how to declutter painlessly.
You might know the Marie Kondo system. I simply hate it. Way too minimalist for me.
Kristy suggested a different system, with a Yes pile, a No pile and a Maybe pile, giving me permission to have a huge Maybe pile if needed.
Also I decided to photograph any item that I did not want to keep but felt I was attached to emotionally. Keep the memory, not the item.
I gave myself permission to keep certain "memorable" outfits … simply not in my regular clothes closets. Create a "vault" for those memories to live in … and not invade my daily life with what was.
This conversation gave me so much confidence I could do it.
Everything was feeling really good.
Until she said "OK, let’s do it now".
And then I could feel my whole body locking down and my Soul screaming "NO".
I told her so and investigated the feeling a little more.
I wasn’t feeling confident to do it "with an audience".
It didn’t feel comfortable nor helpful.
I’m so happy that she understood and did not push for things to be done "her way". I know many people need the accountability. I don’t.
I know many coaches will push their methods, their systems and their beliefs onto you.
Kristy doesn’t and that is life-changing. She really listened to me, saw my needs, my weaknesses and strengths and empowered me to take action in a way that felt good to me.
I needed to take my sweet time until I felt ready and then do it in a state of meditative consciousness, a state of mindfulness.
Which was this morning.
I organized my decluttering system with bags and markers and baskets and a nice big mirror so that I could try the clothes… And started pulling stuff out of my jumper section closet.
After a couple of hours of working on it, trying everything that I wasn’t sure about, and making decisions intuitively and rather fast… Here’s what I have uncovered…
1. I don’t have that many jumpers and sweaters (lol!) I could buy/make some new ones!!
2. 90% approximately … still fit me!!! (yet let me remind you, I only wear 10%!!)
3. The decision to keep an item or not was NEVER about the "does my body fit in there?" but always about the "Do I feel comfortable and pretty in it?
4. I have no Maybe pile. I KNOW what I like on my body when I try it on…
5. Some of the clothes in my cupboard need a new home because they are going to be used in a new way… I need some "new" art clothes for instance!
6. I found some treasures that might really be of interest to some of my besties and I feel so happy about gifting them!
7. I’m going back to sewing. I have so many clothes that I can and would love to improve, customize or make from scratch … I WILL however give myself a deadline for the "repairs and alterations" … otherwise this could become a clutter piel of its own… So… end of the year it is!
8. I need a bigger masquerade costume section somewhere in the house… I’ve always been a theater girl and I will always be… I need me a Halloween/cosplay/ugly Christmas sweater closet somewhere!
9. It felt so good trying them on and finding some I’d completely forgotten which I love.
10. It really felt good getting rid of the ones that are an immediate No.
Mind officially blown.
So it’s always about the beliefs. Always about the thoughts.
Let me repeat that, both for myself and for you:
Our thoughts create our reality.
As long as I was convinced nothing fitted me… I had a cupboard full of sweaters that I didn’t wear because they were "too small for my new fat body".
As soon as I started trying them on, including some that I’ve had for more than 20 years (yes, I know, I’m that person that takes very good care of clothes, mostly when I love them, so they last a long time…), I understood that the image I have of my body in my head doesn’t correspond to its reality since she still fits in my "thinner woman clothes" … so I’m NOT fatter.
My body has indeed changed shape, so some of the clothes do not look nice anymore… But it is NOT a size question, it’s a shape question.
And a freaking belief question!
I have enough clothes that I love, that make my body feel comfortable and look nice (in my eyes!). I choose who I dress up to be daily!
I have clothes for every occasion and I still can buy/sew new ones if I fancy!
Now, let me be honest.
The job is not done.
I have quite a few more cupboards to empty and sort out.
I will for sure encounter new issues…
But hey… this is going to be fuel for my fire of personal development and growth.
And material for this blog!
So stay tuned if you want more!
And if you’re in a pickle with anything regarding your home… Reach out to Kristy Iris and boost your processes, discoveries and results!
I would be so happy to hear from you about all that. Thank you in advance for your comment.
So much for today ...
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.