Taking My Sweet Time to Heal: A Slow Comeback

So.

I had cancer.

Yes, you read it right. Had.

As from November 12^th, I’m officially not a cancer patient any-more.

Surgery was successful and the mass in my right kidney is out.

No further treatment for now, just close monitoring with scans and blood work very often.

I’m also uterus polyps free as I actually had 2 operations in one!

I’m also TB free after a huge antibiotic treatment that temporarily damaged my liver (I basically had medical hepatitis!) and crushed my stamina and energy.

Voilà.

I’m cured.

What now? Back to business as usual? Hit the ground running?

No.

I am in recovery, in convalescence.

What?

Convalescence: the gradual recovery of health and strength after illness.

Emphasis on gradual.

This is a moment my body needs time to heal. No more medical procedures, needles, surgeries or medication.

Just time.

How much? I don’t know. I’ll let you know when I find out (if I find out!!)

And, as you would imagine, it’s not just my body that needs time.

Because I am a person, not a body.

I am a Human.

I am an Embodied Soul.

I am a Child of the Universe.

I am a Starseed of the Cosmos.

I am a Shard of Light of the One Source.

I am Living a Goddess Life.

My Mind needs time to heal too, and my Heart, and my Soul.

I need to become accustomed to the idea that "cancer patient" is not who I am any more.

So who am I now, in this present moment? And who do I want to become? I don’t know yet. And that’s all right.

This is a time of reflection, pause and rebirth for me, as I contemplate my future steps in life and business.

I have been feeling better, slowly, and day after day I feel the urge to do… less and less of the hustling.

I feel that life has granted me a pause.

I sense that this pause is fundamental to my happiness, my development and fulfilment.

And while I pause the doing…

The pondering, meditating and musing is going on full throttle.

I’ve been thinking. A lot.

And feeling. A whole lot too. In the background.

While my body recovers and little by little mends and heals and gets back in shape, I’ve been feeling like a new me is getting birthed, "below" the surface.

I don’t know her by now.

We have to get acquainted. It will take time as well.

I’ll introduce you, I promise.

But whoever I turn out to be in this next iteration of myself … I can feel that I need to acknowledge the huge need for self-love and grace during this transformative period.

And rest.

So much rest.

By the way, I wanted to remind you (and myself!!) that resting is a radical act of self-love in a world that glorifies exhaustion as an achievement…

Nobody really talks about this, but once you start healing past traumas and you body comes out of "fight or flight" mode, you body will crave a lot of rest. And silence. You body finally starts to feel safe in the peace and quiet. The calm.

You aren’t lazy, you body is just catching up on all the years it didn’t have this stillness.

You. Deserve. This.

I know I do.

And it might take me all winter… I’ll see you in the spring then!

Healing isn’t a sprint, but more of a leisurely hike through a meadow with no definite end in sight. It’s not about hitting the ground running; it’s more like tiptoeing, then maybe cautiously bouncing back—when you’re good and ready. After all, rushing the process would be like trying to rally after a marathon by, well, signing up for another marathon. It doesn’t work, and trust me, our bodies know this before our minds do.

The art of “getting back in shape” after a journey like this is less about looking to make a comeback and more about making friends with every muscle, breath, and heartbeat that has carried you through it. Every little improvement, every tiny perk-up, is a nod to the strength simmering beneath the surface, patiently awaiting its turn to shine. But that shine isn’t immediate; it’s gradual, just like a sunrise that doesn’t bother speeding up for anyone.

So I’m going to turn the corner at my own pace. And embrace that rally isn’t about being the old me as quickly as possible but about discovering and reclaiming a new version—a better version of myself. One that’s not trying to snap back into some pre-illness form but rather is convalescing into something greater, a self who doesn’t just bounce back but comes up smiling and whole and ready to share this new wisdom.

Recovery, after all, is like reclaiming. I reclaim my strength, revive my spark, and slowly gather the scattered pieces I lost along the way. This time, I’ll feel like a new person who no longer sees “rest” as a waste of time but rather as a radical act of restoration. Rest assured (literally), I’ll be back on my feet when it’s time—and only when it’s time.

In this slow comeback, I’ve started to notice and celebrate the smallest victories—like the first day I could get out of bed without feeling utterly drained or the first time I genuinely felt like laughing again. These moments may seem tiny, but they’re monumental in the process of mending. I’m learning to appreciate each of these small wins along the way, small signs of life returning, almost like rediscovering pieces of myself that I had tucked away.

With this fresh perspective on rest, I’m also learning to set boundaries that protect it. Saying “no” has become part of my recovery toolkit, especially when it comes to anything that feels like pressure to get back to “normal.” I’m realizing that this pause, this permission to take things slowly, is something I don’t want to give up. So I’ll be a bit more selfish with my energy if that’s what it takes to keep this newfound peace.

To anyone else out there on their own path to healing, remember: recovery is a journey, not a sprint. It unfolds at its own pace, and you don’t have to rush or be anyone’s idea of “back to normal.” Give yourself permission to go slow, celebrate the small wins, and trust that you’ll get there—one gentle step at a time. Let’s find our own path forward, with the time and grace we each need, earning patience, self-love, and honoring the recovery process on all levels.

Oh and of course, all this happens with more ease and joy… in nature and beauty!

I believe that is all for today.

I would be so happy to hear from you.

Thank you in advance for your comment.

See you soon, for my next online adventures!

Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.

Isaya

PS: On a very practical way, I am focusing on my healing, so there is not much happening in my business world… I’ll be writing as usual, of course, and maybe creating some podcast episodes… but on the whole, I might be AFK (away from keyboard) for some time… I’ll keep you posted when something new happens! New projects are starting to brew!

I also do have less money coming in. One way to help and support me is to actually buy something from me!

You can find some of my Goddess Connected programs here:

https://isayabelle.com/the-magic-goddess-online-programs

or here: https://isayabelle.com/tech-goddess-academy-2

PPS: Please bear in mind that I am reclaiming my journey and that my solutions and my path are mine and mine only. They are not intended to be a guide or a list of advice, a handbook or manual or any kind, least of all medical. This is just me sharing my journey.