So I’m in hospital right now.
Or barely home.
What you are reading was written earlier in September. It’s not very often that I do this and write blog posts I advance. I do not "batch" my posts because they serve as a journaling practice to document my journey in healing and in life.
But hey, getting planned surgery means taking a break…
So here are some random thoughts and musings from earlier… about judgment.
Very bad press, right?
The word judgment holds profound significance. And power. Let’s try understanding and harnessing the transformative power of judgment in our lives.
Judgment is a natural aspect of our human cognition. We all make judgments about people, situations, and ourselves, daily. And it’s no use denying, we all do.
I’m really fed up with people who embrace this New Age-y, rainbows-and-unicorns attitude, constantly preaching about love and light as if they’re living in a perpetual state of bliss. They present themselves as paragons of positivity and non-judgment, but it feels disingenuous. This overly idealistic perspective often masks a deeper reality: they’re not being honest with themselves, and their pretense affects how they interact with the world. Despite their claims of open-mindedness and acceptance, their behavior often reveals a hidden agenda or a lack of genuine self-awareness. It’s not just an illusion they create for others but a self-deception that skews their understanding of reality and human nature.
However, there are different types of judgment as judgment is a complex and multifaceted concept that can manifest in various forms. And these distinctions are really crucial in building a fairer judgment on judgment – pun intended – and mostly on choosing a more coherent behavior when judgment come knocking… whether it is self-judgment or coming from somebody else.
Understanding these different types of judgment helps in recognizing how they affect our interactions and perceptions.
Self-judgment, which to my opinion is the most frequent and the most damaging one, involves how we perceive and evaluate ourselves. It can be constructive, helping us to grow and improve, or it can be harsh and punitive, leading to self-doubt and a negative self-image. Self-judgment often stems from personal standards and past experiences.
The other types of judgments are opinions or criticisms directed to somebody else.
Social judgment concerns how we perceive and evaluate others based on social norms and expectations. It includes how we interpret behaviors, appearances, and attitudes within a societal context. Social judgment can be influenced by cultural background, social status, and group dynamics.
Moral judgment, similarly but slightly differently, is the evaluation of actions or behaviors based on a sense of right and wrong. Moral judgment is shaped by ethical principles, religious beliefs, and personal values. It often involves assessing the intentions and consequences of actions and can lead to strong opinions about what is acceptable or unacceptable. It is way too often based on rigid beliefs that do not take different opinions into account. Moreover, way too often again, moral judgment is based on subconscious beliefs or values and thus can be expressed in a harsh, biased and "judgmental" way.
Which leads to prejudicial judgment, which occurs when evaluations are made based on stereotypes or biases rather than individual merits. It involves preconceived notions and can lead to unfair treatment or discrimination against individuals or groups.
There are basically two types of ways to approach judgment:
Constructive judgment aims to provide feedback that supports growth and improvement. It’s typically balanced, empathetic, and focused on helping someone learn from their experiences rather than merely criticizing.
Destructive judgment, unlike constructive judgment, destructive judgment focuses on critiquing and condemning without offering support or guidance. It often serves to belittle or undermine rather than to foster improvement.
As for the main issue with judging other people, in my opinion, it lies in what and how we express judgment. Do we keep it to ourselves and get on with our life? Or do we chose to share it with the other, to "lecture" them into changing their ways according to our opinion? Because hoping that we will stop judging other altogether might be a fantasy, but choosing not to burden others with our criticisms, evaluations, assessments or approvals is actually a possibility.
Maybe just shut the F* up?
I’m trying here to emphasize the importance of striving for fairness and empathy in our evaluations of others.
That maybe even more true when we are practicing self-judgment. You know, the time and energy spent criticizing each and every bit of our bodies, our ideas, our supposed flaws, weaknesses and mistakes.
Maybe stop?
Maybe choose empathy. With yourself?
Because when judgment or self-judgment is harsh and unrelenting, it has detrimental effects on our well-being and relationships. It can create division, resentment, and inner turmoil.
And, rather that pretending we are not judging … how about we switch to forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a profound act of liberation. It's not about condoning or justifying harmful actions; it's about releasing the grip of anger and resentment on our hearts. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, allowing us to move forward with lightness and peace. In our human experience, judgment and forgiveness often coexist. We may judge others or ourselves, leading to pain and conflict. However, it is in the act of forgiveness that we find healing and reconciliation. Forgiveness is not just about pardoning others; it's also about releasing ourselves from the chains of judgment.
Judgment need not be a prison and forgiveness need not be a weakness. Embrace these elements as tools for inner peace, harmony in relationships, and self-discovery.
May you find solace in the practice of forgiveness, liberation in the release of judgment, and serenity. As you embark on this journey, like me, may you discover the profound interconnectedness of these elements and the profound healing they bring.
Meditation can serve as a bridge between judgment and forgiveness. It allows us to explore the judgments that arise within us with curiosity and compassion. Through meditation, we can understand the roots of our judgments and, in doing so, find the space to forgive. Here’s how...
Begin with self-reflection, by reflecting on the judgments you hold, both toward yourself and others. What beliefs or experiences might be fueling these judgments?
Pursue mindful awareness and practice mindfulness through meditation. Observe your thoughts and emotions without attachment or judgment. Allow them to arise and pass away like clouds in the sky.
Cultivate self-compassion and compassion for others. In meditation, visualize sending love and kindness to yourself and those you may have judged.
Release resentment and understand that holding onto judgments and resentments is like carrying a heavy burden. Choose forgiveness as a path to release that weight.
Then dare to have those healing, open and empathetic conversations. Share your feelings, listen with an open heart, and seek understanding.
And remember… Healing is an ongoing process. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey.
Finally, I wanted to mention that I have invented a creative way to use the Hawaiian Hoʻoponopono forgiveness formula. I would love to share it with you. So, if you want my free PDF, click here:https://isayabelle.com/hopo-freebie
I'll be happy to hear from you on these subjects. Thank you in advance for your comment.
So much for today …
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.
Isaya
PS: as you have seen I had fun with AI to create the images that illustrate this article... and got carried away...
PPS: Maybe you feel like you want to support me as I navigate the Cancer journey?
I am OK and grateful to receive any Reiki, Prayers, Light, Love, Hugs or any other healing modal sent with pure intentions and love.
As far as advice and "recipes" are concerned, please ask me before you download your knowledge, links or recommendations onto me. Overwhelm is always lurking…
On a very practical way, because I’m going to be focusing on my healing, I will have less money coming in…
One way to help and support me is to actually buy something from me!
You can find some of my Goddess Connected programs here:
https://isayabelle.com/the-magic-goddess-online-programs
or here: https://isayabelle.com/tech-goddess-academy-2
PPPS: Please bear in mind that I am reclaiming my journey and that my solutions and my path are mine and mine only. They are not intended to be a guide or a list of advice, a handbook or manual or any kind, least of all medical. This is just me sharing my journey.
