I do not normally go to Romance movie… not my cup of tea. This movie is shot in Ireland so I thought my wife might like it but she does not like gratuitous sex or nudity so I decided to check it out.
I AM SO GLAD I SAW THIS MOVIE! The scenery is stunning, the music is enthralling (dare you not to tap your toe) the acting is good and the there is humor abounding and a little sadness (guarantee my wife will cry). This movie should touch your heart somehow 🙂
I am an AMC A List member so I can see 3 movies a week therefor I see a lot of movies and this movie is in my TOP 5 FAVORITE MOVIES THIS YEAR!
Unlike The Wrath of Man or Spiral (both good movies but I will not see them twice) you will leave this movie feeling uplifted, happy and thinking about maybe seeing it again sometime.
Take someone you love and hold their hand when the mood strikes...I am taking my wife tomorrow night!
James Fischer (this text is quoted WITH the typos, so you get the wholeness of it!)
I stumbled upon this review (if you can call it that) on a movie forum the other day and I knew it was the moment to write a post about patriarchy. Because hey, who doesn’t love a rant every now and then?
So where do I start with James? The fact that he "knows" what she likes is bad enough, but what about the idea that he is, for some reason, entitled to "check it out" for her… and even worse is the idea that she "does not like gratuitous sex or nudity".
He graciously takes it upon himself to preview the film, all in the noble pursuit of sparing his delicate flower from the horrors of gratuitous sex and nudity. Because, let's face it, nothing says "I love you" like shielding your partner from cinematic indecency. It's almost as if he's on a quest to prove his worthiness as the ultimate protector of virtue in the relationship.
This theory of women not liking sex or nudity, of being pure and chaste and asexual is simply revolting to me.
Women, just like men, like sex. Or don’t. This is NOT a gender issue. Reducing women to only 3 roles, aka the chaste virgin, the nurturing mother and the sex driven prostitute is the foundation of patriarchy. The foundation of Christianity too, by the way.
Makes me puke.
Women are humans. Humans are amazingly individuals with their own ideas, values, characteristics and bodies, all unique and beautiful. Not one of us is better than any other. Women, nor men, should be defined by their relationship to another human: mother, wife, daughter, lover, fiancée and the like.
And by the way, on your profile pic, sisters, why is there anyone else than you, whether spouse, kids or pets?
This is your profile, the profile of YOU.
Who are you when you stop being defined by your connections to others?
Back to my principal topic.
Let’s go for definition of the word itself: patriarchy. It is defined as:
- a form of social organization in which the father is the head of the family, clan, or tribe and descent is established through the male line.
- a society based on this social organization.
- the principles or philosophy upon which control by male authority is based.
- an institution or organization in which power is held by and transferred through males.
Patriarchy is a system of relationships, beliefs, and values embedded in political, social, and economic systems that structure gender inequality between men and women. Attributes seen as “feminine” or pertaining to women are undervalued, while attributes regarded as “masculine” or pertaining to men are privileged.
Patriarchy is like that stubborn stain on the societal fabric that just won't come out. It's a system where power and authority are primarily held by men, and where societal structures and norms perpetuate the dominance, privilege, and control of men over women. It's not just about individual actions; it's ingrained in institutions, cultures, and everyday interactions.
The intricacy of the weaving of these ideas in our western world is incredibly difficult to uncover, mostly because we live IN that system, so we don’t see the tricky and subtle inequality threads in the fabric of society.
I want to point out some of these inconspicuous behaviours reinforcing patriarchy in this article, like the ones above… and more. Strap in and see if you’ve met these before…
1. The Office Interrupter: Picture this: a woman is in a meeting, passionately presenting her ideas, when suddenly, like a knight in shining armour, a man swoops in and interrupts her, effectively hijacking the conversation. It's the subtle art of mansplaining in action, where a man assumes his voice is more worthy of being heard, undermining the woman's expertise and authority.
2. The Housework Hurdle: In many households, the division of labour still falls along traditional gender lines. Women are expected to handle the lion's share of domestic chores, from cooking and cleaning to childcare, while men conveniently find themselves with a free pass. It's the unspoken rule that women belong in the kitchen, perpetuating the idea that their value lies in nurturing and care giving, rather than pursuing their own ambitions and goals.
3. The Beauty Standard Conundrum: Ah, yes, the age-old pressure for women to adhere to society's impossible beauty standards. From magazine covers to Instagram feeds, women are bombarded with images of airbrushed perfection, while men are largely exempt from the same scrutiny. It's the subtle message that a woman's worth is tied to her appearance, reinforcing the notion that her value lies in being pleasing to the male gaze.
4. Chasing Wrinkles: The Irresistible Appeal of Men Old Enough to Be Your Dad: The timeless tale of the young woman chasing after the much older man—because who wouldn't be drawn to a man with decades of life experience, a few gray hairs, and the wisdom of knowing where all the early-bird specials are? Whether it’s the thrill of navigating midlife crises together or the sheer joy of hearing “back in my day” stories on repeat, these women just can’t resist the allure of a man who's been around the block a few more times than her. It's almost as if the promise of being someone's third or fourth wife is the ultimate romantic prize! That concept is pervasive, whether in real life or in fiction.
The "dangerous" part about it is that most of these fictitious scenarios are written by… men. As a woman, I don’t remember dreaming of anyone older than me… And yet my hubby is 6 years older… Sneaky isn’t it? Plus when women point this out, men will argue that women have daddy issues, reinforcing the story when in truth, it’s about old guys wanted to screw some fresh flesh and making a rationalisation about that!
In real life, one can see that age differences in those celebrity couples for instance: Leonardo DiCaprio and Camila Morrone, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, or Jay-Z and Beyoncé.
In books, one could think about "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald, "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Brontë, "Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy or "Lady Chatterley's Lover" by D.H. Lawrence. In all of these the age disparity is depicted as normal once again.
"Crazy, Stupid, Love", "American Beauty", "Lost in Translation", "An Education", to quote but a few, are movies where this age discrepancy is also presented as ordinary.
These examples all depict instances where the woman takes the initiative in pursuing a romantic relationship with a significantly older man, exploring themes of love, desire, and societal norms.
What of the reverse situation, you ask? There are indeed movies for example where the woman is older than her romantic interest. But guess, what… then THAT is the subject of the movie, THAT is what is focused on as "bizarre", like in "The Reader", "The Graduate", "Something's Gotta Give" or recently in "The Idea of You".
These are just a few ways of how patriarchy manifests in our everyday lives, masquerading as harmless quirks or idiosyncrasies of society, when in reality, they serve to perpetuate inequality and undermine women at every turn. But fear not, for awareness is the first step toward dismantling this entrenched system, one sarcastic quip at a time. It will help us change our behaviours and those of others.
Together let’s vow to become aware and conscious, to pay attention and detox our vocabulary, ideas, practices of the sneaky patriarchal threads spoiling the beauty of this world. Let’s strip our society of all inequalities and begin living in harmony with men once again.
I would be so happy to hear from you about all that. Thank you in advance for your comment.
So much for today …
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.
Isaya
PS1: This is it. Next week I’ll be in hospital and the article I’ll publish will be a "pre-written" one as I focus on the medical part of my cancer journey. Wish me luck and send all the good juju if you feel like it! See you on the other side!
PS2: Maybe you feel like you want to support me as I navigate the Cancer journey?
I am OK and grateful to receive any Reiki, Prayers, Light, Love, Hugs or any other healing modal sent with pure intentions and love.
As far as advice and "recipes" are concerned, please ask me before you download your knowledge, links or recommendations onto me. Overwhelm is always lurking…
On a very practical way, because I’m going to be focusing on my healing, I will have less money coming in…
One way to help and support me is to actually buy something from me!
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