LOSE, LOST, LOSING (verb)

I am now moving into the next period of my life, a rebirth period.

For 2025, I have dreams and intentions, very few plans.

I have one major intention: to take care of myself.

Holistically.

So… I’m prioritizing myself more and "businessing" less.

I want to write, to create, to travel by train, to fix some parts of my house, to hike, to read and craft, to crochet and meditate.

Now a part of me wishes I could ignore this lovely body of mine for a while; after all, last year was all about removing illness from it.

But I can’t. Actually I believe I shouldn’t.

It so happens I am, first and foremost, an honest person. Honest with you, as much as I can (some call it authenticity).

Honest with myself too.

So I have to admit.

I am not happy with my body.

And she’s not happy with me.

I am not walking my talk, as far as rebirthing holistically is concerned.

Holistic comes from the Greek word holos (of course! Greek again! lol!), meaning "whole."

So what is a "whole" person?

In my opinion, a whole person is a body, a mind, a heart and a soul, all intertwined.

I have been taking better care of my mind (learning, reading, educating myself, creating and arting, thank you Athena and Demeter!).

I have been taking better care of my heart (allowing my emotions and opening up to more love, both given and received, thank you Aphrodite and Artemis!)

I have been taking better care of my soul (meditating, slowing down, connecting with my inner world, thank you Hestia and Gaia!)

I have not been taking care of my body "for reals".

I have gone through the medical journey of healing.

I have taken care of symptoms and cured, healed and restored.

Until now, I haven’t faced one of my biggest body "issues."

I am fat.

Not plump or chubby any more. Plain fat.

Too fat for my own good.

I want to lose weight.

I need to lose weight.

There are things I want to do in what remains of my life that demand my body to be in better shape, stronger, leaner and more flexible.

I do not want to go "downhill" from here.

I do not agree to decline and deteriorate from now on.

I choose to revert the slope.

I choose to lose weight.

There are several mindset issues with that… alongside practical issues of course.

I chose, for now, not to share any choices I make as to the "how" I’m going to lose weight, as to the practicalities. I don’t want to go into "Here is my weight loss journey, world, let me know what you think… Rest assured that I am educating myself and getting help and making choices and that I know what I’m doing. I will not share those choices. Please refrain from giving me advice on weight loss techniques, diets, medications or coaches. I am fine. This is my journey, if I want help, I will reach out. I am not a weight loss coach so there will be no advice on my side either.

Now, on the mindset aspect of it all… I believe I can contribute to the conversation…

Let’s discuss the two obstacles I see for now.

First, losing weight will take time and focus and dedication and energy.

That means that I will have to take this time and energy and assign them to that task.

It means less focus and dedication on other things, of course.

I have to make friends with that idea.

For now, a part of me still believes it’s a "waste of time", that there are books to be written, friends to be hugged, paintings to be painted and lands to be visited…

That part of me is not in command right now.

The part of me who is in command is the part that remembers that there are many years to be lived… and that those years will be longer and happier when my body is not a burden and a liability.

I choose to dedicate time, energy and determination to losing weight and getting my body to a better shape and condition. For a better life today. And tomorrow...

The second mindset issue is a vocabulary one.

Below is the entry for the verb LOSE, in the WordReference.com, Online Dictionaries:

1. to come to be without, as through accident: They lost all their belongings in the storm.
2. to fail to keep, as by accident, usually temporarily: I just lost a dime under this sofa.
3. to suffer the taking away of: to lose one's job.
4. to experience the death of (someone): He had just lost his wife to cancer.
5. (of a physician) to fail to preserve the life of (a patient). The doctor lost a young patient.
6. To fail to keep, preserve, or maintain: to lose a fortune by gambling.
7. (of a timepiece) to run slower by: The watch loses three minutes a day.
8. to come to have less (money) than before: I lost a million dollars on the deal. We lost on that deal.
9. to get rid of: to lose weight.
10. to bring to destruction: Ship and crew were lost.
11. to have (someone) slip from sight or awareness: The detective lost the man she was following.
12. to stray from: to lose one's way.
13. to waste: We have lost enough time waiting.
14. to fail to gain or win: He lost the bet.
15. to be defeated (in): They lost four games in a row. Our team lost again, 6-0.
16. to cause the loss of: That delay lost them the battle.
17. to allow (oneself) to be absorbed in something: I had lost myself in thought.
18. to fail to hear, understand, comprehend, or see: I've lost you; do you mind going over it again for me?
19. to cause this to happen: I'm afraid you've lost me; do you mind going over it one more time?
20. lose out, to suffer defeat or loss: Our company lost out on the deal.
21. lose it, to fail to maintain one's temper, composure, or control...

There you have it.

There are 21 meanings to the verb lose.

Not a single definition of them has a positive connotation.

I have emboldened all words that seem to me to be carrying a negative implication.

Defeat, Death, Suffer, Slower, Waste, Destruction, Defeated.

As for the word FAIL, it is mentioned 6 times.

Holy Cow (yes, that’s one of my nicknames… for now!).

How can a woman win at losing weight then?

Failure is the loss. Failing is what we repeatedly say (and hear) when we say lose.

Such a negative way of putting things, right?

I need better ways to say that… Let me try:

• get rid of the excess weight
• ditch the excess weight
• chuck the excess weight
• abandon the excess weight
• discard the excess weight
• dump the excess weight
• let go of the excess weight.

Better right?

It feels so much more positive… It feels like a choice, not an accident or a stroke of luck.

And it feels doable.

So yes, I chose to let go of my excess weight.

I have been "working" on letting go in so many different ways, in so many directions and subjects.

It might well be the main purpose of my life nowadays.

Letting go. (If you want to read more about that, just type "letting go" in the search bar of my website and you’ll find a plethora of articles where I tackle the topic… Seems like an endless task and project for me… and you know what… I like it actually!)

I will let go of everything but the core of me, my authentic essence. People, kilos, things, shields and buffers…all released. I will stand exposed and beautiful, feet on the land, eyes on the stars, heart open and shining.

And still I will be a TooMuch Woman.

It just won’t show in kilos!

Voilà…

I believe that is all for today.

I would be so happy to hear from you.

Please like, comment, share and subscribe to my content if you find it inspiring.

I send, as always, love, light and gratitude.

Isaya

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