So … First Red Tent this week in my house and brand new hand-sewn tent… It went well. Very well.

There were eight of us, which is a lot for a first one, me being quite unknown in the area… I was very happy.

I changed my pattern around it (no hustle, no minute by minute programming, no controlled organisation …) and agreed to just go with the flow, trusting that I was capable to facilitate it easily and effortlessly, that I have all the necessary tools and that everyhting was going to unfold for the highest good of every woman present.

And it did.

And it felt AMAZING !

Plus I decided to ask for the double of the price that I used to ask a few years ago… And that went smoothly also …

So organizing and facilitating Red Tents and women circles is now an option, also from a financial point of view.

And that brings me sooooo much joy and peace of mind !

And then … because a week is quite long and a lot can happen …

Then I went to the hospital for my anesthetics consult before the sinus operation that I was considering when I wrote THIS 

At the same time, my youngest son (15 !) had a big allergic reaction to ???

And all hell broke loose …

Here I was, again in a full panic mode, feeling small, alone, unsupported, unworthy and fearful… far far away from any zen, peaceful or joyful feeling whatsoever…

It made me think, as you can imagine.

What is the use of learning all these new (for me) techniques and attitudes in life if it all goes back to “normal” (i.e. living in fear !) in “emergency” cases …

And thus I learned that it’s a path … that I have come a long way … but have arrived nowhere… and never will !

Everyday I learn again. Everyday I practice. Everyday I meditate and open my heart and forgive and love just a little more … And life is more joyful, and more abundant, and happier and sweeter…

Everyday.

Our stories can shape us but they should never define us – they are just what happened to us, they will never be US! Use them as fuel!  Joanna Hunter

So … I have been crying for 3 days now … And detoxing all this fear and anger and resentment and unforgiveness and more fear, anger and resentment …

And doing forgiveness rituals, and meditating and sleeping to help the healing happen…

I also want to stress out that one thing I did earlier on was registering to Corin Cartagena Grillo‘s Angel Power program… And I only now understand why I registered to this program… The forgiveness/unforgiveness issue is so embedded in my body that I have multiple (not fatal or really severe, but still…) health issues…Psoriasis (to build an armor around me and protect me from being too vulnerable to betrayals…), various polyps in my sinuses (to “prevent” me from breathing life deeply in !), muscle pain in my shoulders (stand up and don’t bend, don’t be feeble!) and some others whose “meaning” is not quite as clear … Gratitude is not big enough a word for the work Corin does. And I also congratulate myself for doing my part.

And I got “kicked in the ass” by a few Archangels (Zadkiel, I see you!)

So …

I am now surrendering.
I’m letting go of defending myself.
I’m allowing the Angels to defend me.
I forgive myself.
And everybody else.
And life.
So Be It.

And in the immortal words of Joanna Hunter :

Sending, as usual, love, light and gratitude

Isaya

PS: I will keep you posted about the opération !

One Comment

  • nat foyet

    I was lucky enough to participate to this first red tent. There is a real sense of sisterhood coming from it and I am thankful to Isaya for opening this path to women. I
    Best wishes for the surgery.

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