Between the many questions and invitations and my own desire to understand, complete and get some closure on this very particular year, I decided to write about it and share with you about 2024: My Cancer Year.
Looking back on my cancer year feels like revisiting a whirlwind of emotions, decisions, and revelations. It was a year that began with a life-altering diagnosis and ended with profound lessons about healing, self-love, and transformation.
I chose to illustrate this article with some pictures that are mostly not related to my cancer journey... Because 2024 has also been about so many other things...
The Diagnosis: Fear Meets Authenticity
It started with unexpected bleeding that led to a string of tests, scans, and eventually a diagnosis: kidney cancer. I was told surgery would likely be enough, but the reality of hearing “You have cancer” turned my world upside down. Alongside that diagnosis came other health complications, including uterine polyps and a TB infection that temporarily damaged my liver. It felt like my body was calling for attention in every possible way.
Despite the fear, I chose authenticity. I decided to share my journey openly, in all its messy, raw, and vulnerable truth. Cancer was not something I could hide from myself or others, and sharing became part of my healing—a way to connect, inspire, and find strength in visibility.
What Failure Feels Like When You’re In It
From the beginning, I committed to a multifaceted healing plan. Modern medicine took the lead with surgery and treatments, but I also embraced a holistic, magical, and deeply personal approach to healing:
1. Medical Healing: Welcoming all the support of modern medicine, from surgeries to monitoring.
2. Holistic Healing: Shifting my diet, drinking more water, and finding joy in nurturing and moving my body.
3. Magic Healing: Working on mindset and energy with affirmations, gratitude, and language that fostered peace, not conflict. Cancer wasn’t my enemy; it was a messenger.
4. Selfish Healing: Prioritizing myself unapologetically, asking for help, and giving myself permission to rest deeply.
5. Joyful Healing: Finding moments of joy and gratitude, even in the midst of challenge, and embracing the beauty of small wins.
These five elements became my guiding lights, not just for recovering from cancer but for rediscovering myself.
Symbolic Rebirth through Surgery
On September 26th, I had surgery to remove the mass from my kidney and address uterine polyps. This was a pivotal date in my life, a moment that held both fear and promise. It marked the day of my surgery, which turned into something much more than just a medical procedure. When I woke up, I wasn’t just relieved—I was transformed. Cancer is no longer a looming presence in my body, and for the first time in months, I could begin to imagine a future without it. Close monitoring and frequent tests remain a part of my life, but I’ve chosen to see them as acts of care, not fear.
The removal of a cancerous piece from my body wasn’t merely a physical act of healing—it was a profound emotional and psychological release. For so long, I had carried the weight of unresolved family dynamics, especially related to my father’s death from cancer. His passing left a wound that never fully healed.
The surgery wasn’t just about removing something from my body. It became about letting go of so much more—the beliefs, burdens, and emotional baggage I had been carrying. The fear of failure, the guilt, the scars from my past—all of it had built up over time. This procedure forced me to confront these things. It was a painful but necessary step in creating space for new growth, new possibilities. I wasn’t just healing physically; I was releasing the emotional weight that had been holding me back for years.
I came to see the surgery as an opportunity for renewal. It wasn’t just about removing something from my body; it was about shedding old layers, freeing myself from the things I had held onto for too long. Just like the cancer, there were parts of my past that needed to be removed so I could move forward stronger and healthier. The fear, the guilt, the emotional burdens—each of them needed to go in order to make space for the new me.
That surgery, painful as it was, turned out to be a chance to embrace transformation. It allowed me to let go of the weight I had carried for so long, and I stepped into a new chapter of my life. A chapter where I no longer felt burdened by the past but was ready to embrace the future. It is a rebirth—a release of old wounds and the beginning of healing in ways I hadn’t anticipated.
When I came out of that experience, I wasn’t just physically different; I was emotionally and spiritually renewed. I felt ready to face whatever came next, free from the chains that had once held me back. It marks the beginning of something new, and I embrace it with open arms,albeit slowly as discussed previously!
The Slow Comeback: Rest as a Radical Act
Recovery wasn’t about rushing back to normal; it was about redefining what normal even means. Rest became my radical act of self-love in a world that glorifies hustle and exhaustion. I let myself heal at my own pace, embracing the quiet, still moments that my body and soul craved.
This pause became an opportunity for reflection and rebirth. Who am I now, if not a cancer patient? What do I want from this next chapter? I don’t have all the answers, but I’m learning to live in the questions, to honor the process of becoming.
Lessons Learned: Grace, Gratitude, and Joy
This year taught me that healing isn’t linear or tidy. It’s a messy, beautiful journey of grace, gratitude, and joy. It’s celebrating the smallest victories, like the first time I got out of bed without exhaustion or laughed from my heart without pain. It’s learning to set boundaries, say no, and protect my energy unapologetically.
Most importantly, it’s realizing that rest, joy, and self-love aren’t indulgences—they’re necessities. Recovery isn’t just about mending the body; it’s about nurturing the soul and reclaiming the fullness of life.
Moving Forward: A New Path
Healing isn’t linear. It’s messy. It’s unpredictable. And it’s not a race. But if you allow yourself to fully experience failure in all its messy glory—without shame, without the pressure to “bounce back”—you can start to reclaim your power. For the first time in ages, I stopped measuring my success by my output or my bank balance. I started measuring it by how I showed up for myself. By how much love and care I gave myself in the middle of chaos.
As I step into this next phase, I’m not the same person I was before cancer. I’m stronger, softer, and more attuned to what truly matters. I’ve given myself permission to go slow, to embrace uncertainty, and to honor the journey rather than the destination. My focus now is on living a life rooted in authenticity, creativity, and joy—a true Goddess Life, undeterred.
To anyone walking a similar path, know this: healing takes time, and that’s okay. Celebrate your small wins. Rest without guilt. Trust that you’re becoming exactly who you need to be, one gentle step at a time. Together, we’ll find our way forward, with grace, gratitude, and a whole lot of love.
I believe that is all for today.
I would be so happy to hear from you.
Thank you in advance for your comment.
See you soon, for my next online adventures!
Until then I send you love, light and gratitude.
Isaya
PS: On a very practical way, I am focusing on my healing, so there is not much happening in my business world… I’ll be writing as usual, of course, and maybe creating some podcast episodes… but on the whole, I might be AFK (away from keyboard) for some time… I’ll keep you posted when something new happens! New projects are starting to brew!
I also do have less money coming in. One way to help and support me is to actually buy something from me!
You can find some of my Goddess Connected programs here:
https://isayabelle.com/the-magic-goddess-online-programs
or here: https://isayabelle.com/tech-goddess-academy-2
PPS: Please bear in mind that I am reclaiming my journey and that my solutions and my path are mine and mine only. They are not intended to be a guide or a list of advice, a handbook or manual or any kind, least of all medical. This is just me sharing my journey.
