On Suspicion, PTSD, and Women Supporting Women
Why is it so easy to trust strangers but so hard to fully trust the women around us? We notice her smile, her confidence, her achievements, and somewhere inside, a flicker of doubt appears. Is she really happy for me, or am I being measured against her? This mistrust is not about her. It is a story we have been told and retold since girlhood.
I have felt it too. A few weeks ago, I offered a program to a group of women to help them make their businesses more visible online. The program is gifted for free because I want to support these women and because part of the money we will make collectively will go to charity. I felt excited and generous, but many of them were suspicious. They seemed determined to find out what was in it for me, as if I were trying to cheat them or had some hidden agenda. It felt hurtful and frustrating. Why does my generosity, my support, my desire to help so often meet mistrust? Somewhere along the way, we were trained to be suspicious, to doubt, to measure, to defend. This is not innate. This is learned. This is trauma. Some of it is PTSD handed down or grown from past hurts. It lingers in our nervous system and colors interactions even when we do not intend it.
Society teaches women to compete first and connect second. From magazines to movies to office dynamics, we are conditioned to compare, envy, and doubt each other. This mistrust deepens when men are involved. Many of us have learned that attention, approval, or affection from a man is limited and that another woman is automatically a rival. It feels like only one of us can win. But the men in your life are not a scarce resource. And maybe, just maybe, we do not all need a man in our corner at all times. Another woman’s success, beauty, or attention does not diminish yours. It never did.
Most women are not your competition. Your fear, your jealousy, your need for reassurance is not my responsibility. Your PTSD is not my problem. I am tired of justifying myself when I am generous. My kindness is not a threat. My support is not something to worry about. I do not need to negotiate or defend my generosity. It simply is. We can give without fearing judgment, without making anyone else feel small, without asking permission for our generosity to exist.
Healing this mistrust starts small. Notice the suspicion. Pause before judgment. Celebrate another woman’s wins without comparing. Offer a compliment. Give support. Listen without defensiveness. These simple acts push back against conditioning that teaches us to see each other as threats.
Mistrust between women is common but not inevitable. We can choose to lift each other quietly, steadily, and joyfully. Trust takes time, but even small gestures ripple. One smile, one word of encouragement, one honest conversation, and suddenly mistrust does not feel like the only option anymore. It may be time we let ourselves believe that women can truly have each other’s backs.
I want you to know this: I will always be in your corner. My kindness will never be a lie or a strategy. It is real, steady, and unwavering. When I offer support, encouragement, or generosity, it comes from a place of genuine care, not calculation. We can lift each other without fear, without suspicion, without limits. And when we do, we create a space where trust, joy, and possibility can grow. This is how we rise together, how we rewrite mistrust, how we prove that women supporting women is not rare… It is revolutionary.
Voilà. I believe that is all for today. I would be so happy to hear from you. If this spoke to your heart, I would love for you to share it with a sister, a friend, a fellow Goddess on the path. I send, as always, love, light, and gratitude.
Isaya
