So it’s December again and I begin again a journaling practice.
Just taking time with myself and for myself and allowing for words to form and land on the page.
I have no idea what/how/why I feel this is the thing I need right now but it is, I know that much.
I know that reaching out for my pen and journal every morning will do wonders, will help me clarify my desires, goals, intentions and plans. And emotions. Of course.
I know that it has been too long without a pen and nothing else, no keyboard, no AI assistance, no prompts or distractions or desires to make it good or perfect or meaningful.
Just write? Just write. Just write!
And see what comes, see what emerges of that rough, raw page-filling practice of mine.
Today is December 1st and I know the weight of this month in the year. The month of joy, whether natural or compulsory and forced, the month of painful and joyful at the same time, the month of families, judgements and traumas reactivated, the month of assessments and evaluations.
Evaluation of self by family and by self.
"How are you doing?"
Yes. How am I doing?
And comparison with other members of said family. Humpf.
Also the month of self check-in
"How did I do this year?"
"Was I good enough?"
Did I make enough money, enough good in the world, enough impact?
Such a loaded month.
Cause as soon as we have finished assessing, judging, analysing our ending year...
We begin the planning of the next one.
Bigger better, bolder.
Even more hustle, more exhaustion and work, more to prove to self and family and community.
To the world.
Such a loaded month.
So many explosive circumstances.
Nature on the other hand, screams, very silently, to each and every one of us:
STOP. BREATHE. REST. SLEEP. GO INWARDS
Not to analyse, or judge or assess.
Just to rest. Just to sleep and wait for lighter days.
For more courage and light and energy.
Not to create more.
To wait for that more to be created by Gaia’s volition and cycling.
Just wait for the more to emerge.
And we so often refuse that or reject it.
"Nothing good happens to lazy people."
"Make it happen."
"The early birds catch the worms."
In French we say "The Future belongs to early risers."
And other BS ideas.
Yet Gaia insists.
She invites us to hibernate and just wait for it to happen.
Whatever that is.
To wait for better days.
And trust.
Such an anti-capitalist perspective.
No doing. No hustling. No trying. No hunting. No striving.
Not even playing.
Just waiting.
And resting.
Trusting all will happen in due course.
The only permission Gaia gives us at this time, in a deafening silence, is to retreat, to rest, to dream maybe.
And I, together with Gaia, recommend that we find a nice warm dark cave or bed and retreat, rest, wait and dream.
And trust the void, the silence, the darkness, the barren lands, to nourish us in a way that no hustling would ever do.
Let’s give ourselves some time this December to do just that. Not more.
Now if you do have an affectionate and loving community or family at hand, make some time for that kind of warmth too.
Let’s all meet under the cold Moon this December and hug, eat good food, share stories and laughter and keep each other warm, loved and cradled.
Until Yule, when the sun once again begins its long slow journey towards Summer Solstice.
And we too, slowly, slowly begin to awaken our dreams and open our eyes again.
And then dream some more.
And rest some more.
And if your heart is whispering for more stillness and deep nourishment before the new year begins, join us in January for Into the Stillness: A Midwinter Dreaming
A retreat to rest, dream, journal, share stories, and prepare for the year ahead in the warm embrace of community and the quiet of winter.
(there is an early bird price until December 31st:https://isayabelle.com/into-the-stillness-amidwinter-dreaming
For now, let’s just be, just breathe, just wait.
And be OK with that.
Voilà .
I believe that is all for today.
I would be so happy to hear from you.
If this spoke to your heart, I’d love for you to share it with a sister, a friend, a fellow Goddess on the path.
I send, as always, love, light and gratitude.
Isaya
PS: If you find yourself dreaming of connection or of women’s voices weaving together, trust that. The circle of the Women Lighting the Way Summit is where that dream becomes real. Join us December 12.13.14 here:
